


Hypotheticals

by Matril



Category: Lizzie Bennet Diaries
Genre: F/M, Layers upon layers of hyper-reality, Meta-AU, Or basically just Lizzie and Darcy talking a whole lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-28 20:37:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 37,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/996413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Matril/pseuds/Matril
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lizzie and Darcy speculate how their relationship could have gone differently in a variety of different circumstances.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Date

**Author's Note:**

> So, with this I'll finally have all my fanfiction.net stories posted here as well. And only six months after the series has ended. ;) Now I'll just sit here and wait for the new plot bunnies to start biting.

Lizzie Bennet was sitting on his bed.

Strictly speaking, it wasn’t his bed. Not the one in his actual bedroom in his San Francisco home, the one he slept in perhaps two-thirds of the time. It was his bed at Netherfield, in the room he had chosen for himself while staying there last year. Now that Bing was living in New York he was planning to put the house up for rent, but as was typical of his easygoing nature, he hadn’t gotten around to arranging it yet. For the time being, the house was conveniently available for Darcy’s use. And Lizzie’s.

Meanwhile, she was sitting on his bed. 

It shouldn’t be so fascinating to him by now, after nearly a week. He had seen it often enough. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t get enough of the sight of her, comfortably leaning against the headboard, clacking away on her laptop, biting her lip in concentration. She made herself so perfectly at home in a space that had once been only his. It seemed the very physical representation of how easily she became a part of his life, rearranging his surroundings and habits and patterns so that his daily routine was no longer just his own, but Darcy-and-Lizzie, a united front, a synchronized pair.

He knew if he spoke such thoughts aloud she would make a joke about synchronized swimming or synchronizing their watches, and it would only distract him further from the flood of emails that currently required his attention, so he turned back to his own computer screen and tried to concentrate. He was himself sitting at the table positioned near the bay windows; working in bed had never been effective for him. The bed’s current occupant would make it downright impossible.

It was Lizzie who broke the silence instead. Abruptly she said, “What was the play?” as if they were in the middle of a conversation and her question was a natural follow-up to something he had just said.

Darcy looked at her quizzically. 

“The play you were taking me to see,” she clarified, stretching her arms and setting aside her laptop.

They had finished filming her question and answer video some hours ago. “Have you been thinking about that all day?” he said, raising his eyebrows. He had himself been floating a metaphorical six feet above the ground since she confirmed that she would have agreed to attend the theater with him, but he hadn’t expected it to occupy her thoughts as much.

“Off and on,” she shrugged. She patted the spot next to her, and he immediately rose and came to join her. This was why he had needed several hours of solitude to get some work done this morning. Lizzie was making him a skilled procrastinator, a state of mind that was previously utterly unknown to him.

“The play,” he said as he took his place beside her and she leaned her head on his shoulder, “was a stage version of _Anna Karenina._ ”

Her head immediately flew up. “ _Seriously_? Tolstoy?”

He restrained a smile. “Yes.”

Then she was kissing him, attacking him with such enthusiasm that he crashed against the headboard and would have worried about a possible concussion if he wasn’t so absorbed in the pleasure of her mouth on his and her hand tugging on his bowtie. 

“Seriously,” she said again, breathless, and fell back onto the pillows. “And I used to think there wasn’t a romantic bone in your body.”

He didn’t try to restrain his smile this time.

“Although…” She looked up at him. “Outside the context of our, uh, conversational history, _Anna Karenina_ isn’t really romantic. It’s pretty depressing, actually.”

“Would that have ruined the evening for you?”

“Hardly. I’m sure Anna’s tragedy would have provided plenty of intelligent discussion.” Lizzie gave him a sly, sideways look. “And you know intelligent discussion is one of my major turn-ons.”

“Mmm.” Darcy settled down alongside her, propping his head on his hand. “I’d like to imagine that the evening would have brought us one step closer to a relationship.”

“Just one step?” She nudged him playfully. “You should really have a little more faith in your irresistible charms.”

“Do you think that just one evening would have been enough?”

“One evening was enough last Sunday.”

His face grew warm at the very memory. “Yes…but circumstances had changed by then. We had failed to communicate for so long, nothing less than a full disclosure would have sufficed. While you were still at Pemberley –”

“I see what you mean. We were both feeling a little less desperate. We could have taken our time.” Lizzie’s eyes went alight, and she moved to mirror his pose, head on her hand, gazing at him. “Okay. Let’s give it a whirl. Imagine that a certain unmentionable jerk never wormed his way into my sister’s life. Lydia and I never got in that awful fight. I apologized to her in the first place like I should have. So when you told me it would just be you and me, there was no urgent phone call to interrupt us.”

“Are you thinking of costume theater?” he said, his lips twitching.

“Tempting. But no. We can use our imaginations.”

“Very well. So what next?”

She considered for a moment, then, “I would have hesitated before giving my answer. Not because I doubted what I wanted, but I was startled. Surprised. That you were giving me a second chance.”

His brow furrowed. “I thought you were the one giving second chances.”

“Both of us were, I guess.” She gave him a rueful smile. “But once I’d gathered myself enough, I would have said…. _Okay. Yes. Sure. Sounds great!_ Something stutter-y like that.”

“And after a moment, when I had recovered just enough to speak, I would have stuttered back, _Okay. Good. Great. Can I pick you up around seven?_ ”

“Sure. I think I’d start nodding like an idiot at that point. _I’ll see you then. That would be great. I look forward to it._ ”

“I would have fumbled to find a way to end the conversation without betraying how thrilled I was. _I’ll see you then. I look forward also. To it. Thank you. And – have a good afternoon._ ”

Lizzie was laughing so hard she seemed to have trouble breathing. “That sounds about right,” she managed to say. “So….” She forced a straight face. “Then the big night. 7:00. What were you going to wear?”

“A tuxedo, of course. What else would I wear to the theater?”

“What else indeed.” She tugged on his bowtie. “You never do anything by halves.”

“And you?”

“Ugh. Not many options. I didn’t exactly bring a whole suitcase of formal wear to Pemberley. I wore the nicest dress I had with me a few days earlier, when we had that interview.” She tapped her chin. “I probably would have gone on a frantic shopping trip after work. Spent an hour combing the clearance racks until I found something acceptable. Hopefully something shimmery and green.”

Darcy could easily envision her in such a dress, one that flattered every line of her figure and brought out the vivid color of her eyes, while her hair framed her face in soft curls – 

“Hey.” She poked him. “Wake up. We’re just getting started.”

He blinked slowly, only somewhat emerging from a pleasant haze. “What next?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

“I would have been scrambling to get ready on time, because I would know you’re unfailingly punctual. Checking myself in the mirror fifteen times or so. Making sure I had my keys and my phone and tossing in some breath mints, just in case, and then wondering if I’d lost my mind, imagining that we could end up kissing. And maybe only then would it hit me that I was _going on a date with William Darcy_ and I’d collapse on the couch and just sit there, my heart thrumming against my ribcage. Then the doorbell would ring and I’d jump about ten feet in the air.”

“And when you came to answer it, you would be breathless and flushed and I would stare at you, making a fool of myself. I would have to restrain the urge to brush your hair back from your face.”

“I’d start to say, _Hi, Darcy_ , but then I’d realize it was weird to go on a date with someone and still call him by his last name – still, no one calls you by your first name other than your sister and we’re definitely not at the point where I can call you anything except Darcy, so I’d just say _Hi_ and choke on the rest.”

“And it would finally force me to speak. _Good evening, Lizzie. Are you – ready to go?_ ”

“ _Yes. Yup. Let’s go._ Wow, this would just be a whole buffet of awkward, wouldn’t it? Maybe you’re right that it would have taken a while to make any progress.”

“I might have offered you my arm to escort you to the car. Would that have been too forward?”

“Nope.” She tilted her head inquisitively. “Didn’t you notice I started looking for excuses to make physical contact with you that last week at Pemberley?”

“Did you?” He recalled the shoulder touch, of course. And after the interview, when she shut off the camera, she had sat back down next to him instead of dismantling her tripod and gathering her equipment right away. Upon further reflection, he could remember that on Wednesday, before everything fell apart, she had been leaning toward him, inching almost imperceptibly closer. Their arms had brushed. He thought it was unintentional. “You did,” he said wonderingly. “So…you would have accepted the gesture?”

“I probably would have blushed, but yes. Good thing it would have been dark out already.”

“Then both of us would have been red-faced in the dark while we walked to the car.” 

“And while we were driving there, it would have finally occurred to me to ask what play we were seeing.”

With a perfectly straight face Darcy asked, “Would you have responded to my answer the way you did today?”

She smirked. “Maybe in my head. In real life, I would have smiled and blushed some more, and fought off the urge to grab you and kiss you by asking who had written the adaptation.”

“And I would have admitted that I had no idea, and we would have to wait until we had a program to refer to.”

“That’s all right. It would have started a conversation. I would have said… _I wonder what Tolstoy would think of the new Anna Karenina film._ ”

“ _He would hate it,_ ” Darcy returned immediately.

“ _You seem very sure of that_.”

“ _Too much spectacle, not enough introspection. He didn’t even care for his own early novels after a certain point. He became a strict ascetic and pacifist._ ”

“ _Yeah, after spending his youth sleeping around and making his wife read a memoir all about it when they got married._ ”

“Do you not care for Tolstoy, then? I thought –” At some point he had ceased thinking in hypotheticals and entered a real discussion with Lizzie.

“He was a great storyteller. I’m not sure what I think of him as a human being.”

“He did have a great influence upon Gandhi. His views on pacifism –”

“Provided much of the inspiration for the passive resistance movement in India,” Lizzie finished. “I know. So do you think that would have brought us all the way to the theater?”

“What?”

“Our conversation.”

“Oh.” He considered. “Likely. It wouldn’t have been a long ride.” He was a little disoriented that they weren’t continuing the discussion in real time. This was becoming surreal.

“Okay. So how much time before the show started?”

“I expect we’d have about ten minutes. I would show you to our box, and you would take your seat and I would take mine and try not to gaze at you.”

“And I would be trying to calculate whether our seats were close enough to make our shoulders brush without being too obvious about it.”

“They are,” Darcy answered. 

“ _Oh?_ And how would you happen to know that? I suppose you’ve taken other lovely ladies to the theater?” Her playful tone assured him she wasn’t jealous.

“Only my sister. When she was younger and had less patience during long plays, her squirming would irritate me, so I started asking her to sit one chair over. _That_ is how I know.”

“Ah.” She turned more serious. “You really haven’t taken anyone else? I’m sure you would have found plenty of willing dates, if you had wanted to.”

“Occasionally. But most of the time, I didn’t want to. I wasn’t interested in casual dating, and I seldom met anyone whom I could consider as a serious partner.”

She leaned forward and kissed him lightly. “Lucky for me.”

“So would we have talked any further before the play began?”

“I think so. We’d look through our programs, comment on them, that sort of thing. Nervous chatting. Then the lights would go down, and I’d be disappointed and relieved at the same time.”

“I might not pay perfect attention to the play. There would be just enough dim lighting in the theater box to gaze at you without being caught.”

“Oh, you’d get caught. Because I’d turn to glance at _you_ every now and then.”

“Would you smile?”

“Maybe. Would you? Wait, I’m talking to William Darcy. You might manage the tiniest ghost of a smile that I’d need a magnifying glass to detect.”

“You would notice it, though.”

“Yeah, I would.”

“So let’s say that this surreptitious gazing went on for the rest of the first act. What would happen during the intermission?”

Lizzie grinned. “More intelligent discussion. We’d talk about the adaptation. _Lots of Anna, not enough Levin. His story always gets the short shrift._ ”

“ _Do you prefer his story?_ ”

“ _Well, not to be simplistic, but it does have a happy ending. Tragedy can be cathartic, but happy endings just feel better._ ” And then maybe I’d get daring and challenge you a little. “ _You’re not one of those people who prefers stories with ambiguous endings and no real resolutions, are you?_ ”

“I might lean just a little closer then. I like to be challenged. I would answer, _I’m not sure which sort of story you’re referring to. It depends on what the nature of the narrative demands._ ”

“ _Yeah, that’s what I thought. Totally pretentious._ But you’d know I was teasing you, because I wouldn’t be able to stop smiling –”

“And your eyes would be dancing, like they always are when you’re being playful. And I might consider, just for a moment, leaning a little closer and seeing if you reciprocated –”

“And then the house lights would dim,” she finished.

“Because they always do.”

“Yeah. And I’d spend the beginning of the second act wondering if I could slip a breath mint into my mouth without you noticing, then wondering if I wanted you to notice, and generally driving myself crazy with doubts and second-guessing. So I’d force myself to focus on the play.”

“Until I noticed your hand resting just a few inches from mine, when I would slowly shift my arm so that my fingers brushed yours.”

“I would pretend I was totally casual about the whole thing and take your hand. Sure, no big deal, what is this, middle school? But inwardly I’d be letting out high-pitched squeals of excitement.”

“Likewise. Perhaps mine would be a little lower-pitched.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s in your mind; what difference does it make?”

Darcy just smiled and took her hand in real life, thrilling at the feel of her fingers interlaced with his, her palm smooth and warm. “Then what?”

“Maybe toward the end I’d get pretty emotional. Like, the actress playing Anna is really convincing; you can practically feel her anguish. And you’d hear me let out a little sniffle.”

“So I would shift position to put my arm around your shoulder.”

“And I would lean into you and sniffle some more.”

“I would hold you tighter and perhaps congratulate myself for choosing a tragic play.”

“Ha. So then, when it was all over and the house lights went up again, I’d give you a shy look and say shakily, _I have mascara all over my face, don’t I?_ ”

“ _It’s not so bad._ Because it wouldn’t be that bad, and also because I wouldn’t want you to leave for even a minute.”

“But I would. Partly to mop up my face, but also to sneak that breath mint. Because at that point I would have decided that before the evening was over, I was going to kiss you.”

“Really?”

“Definitely.”

“So when you came back,” Darcy ran his thumb up and down the side of her hand, “I would check the time and wonder if I could create some excuse to extend the evening, even though it was past ten o’clock.”

“You wouldn’t have to try very hard.”

“Dessert, then? There’s a bakery not far from the theater that stays open till midnight.”

“Perfect.”

“I would suggest the blackberry pie, my favorite.”

“I wouldn’t have expected you to have such common tastes.”

“Believe me, Lizzie, there is nothing common about this pie.”

Another wide smile. “Okay. So I would say, _Why don’t we share a piece?_ ”

“And I would give you a cautious look, trying to see if there was something suggestive in your words.”

“Oh, there definitely was.”

“So we would eat pie and discuss the play until nearly eleven, and I would think of how I had never spent an evening more pleasantly.”

“And I would think how I had never been more excited or more terrified at once, and wonder why in the world I just ate something with blackberries so my teeth are probably stained, and is there someway I can brush my teeth before saying goodnight to you? But I’d smother my panic and take your hand when we got up to leave and pretend everything was calm and normal.”

“Nothing would feel calm and normal while you were holding my hand.”

“You’d drive me home and I would chatter mindlessly because that’s what I do when I’m nervous.”

“I would listen, loving the sound of your voice, and staying silent because that is what I do when I am nervous.”

“When you brought me to my door, I would stand there for a second, fiddling with my keys, and finally look up at you and say quietly, _I had a really good time. Thanks._ ”

“ _I had a good time as well._ I might have trouble speaking much beyond that.”

“I’d unlock my door, then turn back and say, _Would you like some – tea?_ ”

Darcy caught his breath. “I would hesitate,” he said softly, “not wanting to seem too forward. Then, _Thank you. I would like that._ ”

“We’d go inside, not looking at each other. I’d say, _Uh, have a seat. I’ll be right back._ Then I’d run into the bathroom and scrub my teeth and squint in the mirror looking for any traces of blackberry. And toss back another breath mint, just for good measure. When I came back out, you’d be looking at the bookshelf.”

“I would ask if they were your books or the homeowner’s.”

“ _Some are mine. Kind of silly, I guess, to bring all those books with me._ ”

“ _Not silly at all._ ”

“You’d pick up my copy of Anna Karenina and thumb through it, and then I’d blurt it out in spite of myself. _Did you really read Tolstoy for me?_ ”

“I would turn to you, startled. _Well…re-read Tolstoy, technically._ ”

“I would walk slowly toward you, heart pounding. _Thank you. Belatedly._ ”

“ _It was nothing._ ”

“ _No it wasn’t._ We’d be standing so close, and I’d have trouble getting the words out. I’m sorry.”

“ _For what?_ ”

“ _You know. All of it. I hope – I hope you’re not still mad at me. For everything I said in my videos._ ”

He shook his head. “ _I was never mad at you to begin with._ ”

Lizzie let out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob. She lunged forward, took hold of his face and kissed him desperately. Darcy was so caught up in their make-believe, it felt like the first time all over again.

When they pulled apart, he discovered she was trembling. “Perhaps you were right,” he murmured. “One evening may have been enough after all.”

She straightened, sitting up, and he did the same. “I’d still be nervous. Wondering if I misinterpreted your words. Sometimes your reactions aren’t easy to interpret. So I’d murmur something like _Maybe…I should make that tea now?_ ”

“And that would startle me enough from my stunned happiness to reply _I’d rather you stayed here. Please._ ” He pushed the straying hair back from her face, then pulled her close and returned her kiss with a fervor that left them both breathless. 

“Okay,” she said with a shaky smile, her forehead pressed against his, eyes intent on his mouth. “So much for tea. I don’t think we’d get any sleep either.”

“Agreed.” His hand roamed idly up and down her back. “Do you wish it had happened that way? Without the weeks of uncertainty and waiting?”

“Mmm…no, I don’t think so. As nice as it would have been, I like how things turned out. I knew you were a good person at Pemberley. But now I’ve realized you’re the best person I know.”

He reddened, overwhelmed.

“When I wish things had happened differently,” she went on, “it’s for Lydia’s sake. But not for ours. Those weeks of desperation were rough, don’t get me wrong. But they made things so much more…satisfying when everything was resolved.”

In response, Darcy drew her close for another kiss. 

Clearly he wasn’t going to get any more work done today.


	2. The Phone Call

“Do you believe that we wasted a year?” 

Lizzie blinked drowsily and rolled over to face William. Even in the near darkness she could recognize his having-trouble-sleeping pose. He lay flat on his back, hands steepled across his chest, staring at the ceiling. “What are you talking about?” she asked, stifling a yawn.

“Yesterday, when Gigi called to wish us a happy anniversary.” He sighed. “She wondered, after a year of marriage and three years of being together altogether, if I felt that we had finally made up for wasting a year.”

“Hmm. What did you say?”

It was hard to tell without the light on, but his lips might be twitching in a devious smile. “I answered that technically, it was only ten months, three weeks and three days between the moment of our first meeting and the inception of our relationship.”

She let out a snort. “Of course you did. Bet Gigi loved that.”

William gave her a sideways look. “Then I went on to say that I do not feel that the first year was wasted. Though there are certain details I might wish to alter, it was overall a crucial time of learning and growth for me. I was far from worthy of you when we first met. Though I hesitate to say I am worthy now, I am at least striving to be so, more every day.”

“Pfft.” Lizzie poked him affectionately. “Like I was totally flawless. I did a lot of learning and growing too. It’s publically documented.” She pulled close to him, resting her head on his shoulder, and she could feel some of his tension ease as he wrapped his arm around her. “But we’re agreed that it wasn’t a wasted year. So why does it still bother you?”

“I recognize that I needed that time to improve myself, to become aware of my flaws and work upon them. I only wonder if the process could have been – expedited somehow.”

“I see.” Lizzie traced a circle over his chest. “That I understand. I’ve run through a dozen scenarios, imagining how I could have seen the real you sooner. How we could have trimmed off at least a couple months of misunderstanding each other. And each scenario is less plausible than the last.” 

“I’d like to hear one anyway.”

“Would it help you get to sleep?”

“Perhaps.”

“Okay….” She rifled through her mental lists of what-ifs. “Well, since Gigi was the one who brought it up, let’s run a scenario that she would trigger. Let’s say that while Jane and I were at Netherfield, I happened to overhear a phone conversation you were having with your sister.”

“That would be next to impossible. I always took such calls in the privacy of my bedroom.”

“I told you this would strain plausibility. Come on, just play along.”

“Fine.” He shifted beneath her. “When would this mythical overheard conversation have taken place? And how would it have altered our circumstances in any significant manner?”

“So here’s the scene.” She sat up, her sleepiness fleeing. “Jane and I are maybe one week into our visit. I’m getting pretty restless, because Jane has been sick and I miss Charlotte and so on and so forth. One night I just can’t sleep at all. So I get up and head for the kitchen, hoping a snack or maybe some tea will help. But on the way there, I hear voices. One of them is yours; the other I don’t recognize.”

“And what am I doing taking a call from Gigi outside of my room?”

“Bear with me. You can suspend your disbelief just a little more, right? You were having trouble sleeping too. Because that irritating, abrasive woman who’s been getting under your skin for the last couple months is now living under the same roof as you.”

William straightened, joining her against the headboard. “I never thought of you that way.”

“Maybe not with those words. But I was driving you crazy; you can’t deny that.”

“I did have more than one sleepless night while you were staying at Netherfield,” he acknowledged reluctantly. 

“I thought so.” She scooted closer to him, absently fussing with the buttons of his pajama shirt. “And this particular hypothetical night, you took your laptop to the kitchen and figured you’d get some work done as long as you weren’t sleeping. But that’s interrupted by a frantic video call from Gigi. She’s still really vulnerable after what a certain unmentionable did to her, and she can’t wait till tomorrow to talk to you. She needs you to promise her you’re not angry, that it wasn’t her fault and she’s not a horrible person for loving someone that horrible.”

His hand tightened around hers. “How did you know she said things like that in our phone calls?” he asked, quiet but urgent.

“She told me,” Lizzie said. “Not every detail. But I got the idea. And I’ve had similar conversations with Lydia.”

“So you would overhear all of this,” William said, and she could tell he was uncomfortable even at the hypothetical circumstances.

“I’d hear someone crying, and I’d hear you comforting her. And let me tell you, my viewpoint would change very abruptly once I’d heard you comforting someone you love.”

“That’s all it would take?” he said, openly dubious.

“Well, I wouldn’t rushed in there and proposed marriage,” she said wryly. “Let’s be reasonable. I would have been really, really, disoriented. For starters, I’d realize I was hearing a highly private conversation that was absolutely none of my business. I’d want to run to my room then and there, but I’d be terrified that you would hear my footsteps, making an already awkward situation way more awkward. Plus, the sound of your voice being all soothing and comforting would have been virtually hypnotic. I’d wonder if I had entered some sort of bizarro-world where Darcy was nice and cared about people.” She squeezed his hand. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.”

“So I’d be standing just outside the kitchen in the dark, completely dumbfounded. But it doesn’t end there.”

“No?”

“Nope. Gigi would calm down a little and say she was sorry for bothering you in the middle of the night. You’d say that was your job, being her big brother, and she shouldn’t hesitate to call whenever she needed it. Then she’d say it was probably ruining your vacation, and you’d say you weren’t particularly enjoying yourself anyway.”

William sighed. “That wouldn’t do much to improve your opinion of me.”

“Yeah. I’d think that there, at least, I was justified in thinking you were a snob who hated small towns and friendly people. But then Gigi would say, _Please tell me you’re trying to make some friends._ ”

“I would tell her there was a family with whom Bing was becoming very friendly, particularly the oldest sister.”

“ _And what do you think of them?_ ”

“ _I – suppose she and Bing seem to enjoy each other’ s company. But she is of a temperament that is so determined to please everyone, I cannot tell how she really feels about him._ ”

“That would take me by surprise,” Lizzie put in. “I would almost hear Charlotte’s voice saying _I told you so._ I’d be angry, but I’d kind of know, deep down, that there was some validity to your viewpoint. And then Gigi would say _That’s not what I meant. Do you like spending time with them? Like, actually being social and stuff?_ ”

“I would hesitate for a long time, then finally answer, _Her sister can be – engaging. She does not share her sister’s need to be perpetually agreeable, and I admit such an attitude is refreshing._ ”

“ _You_ like _her!_ Gigi would say, practically breaking your eardrums. Because she knows you too well, and she’d see right through all your hesitation and lukewarm descriptions.”

“ _You’re leaping to conclusions_ , I would reply, stiffly. But I would not directly deny it.”

“Then she’d say she was feeling a little better, and was ready to go to sleep. You’d say your good-byes, and I would stand there in a terrified stupor, knowing that now, more than ever, it was crucial that you never ever ever find out I’d overheard this conversation. While you were shutting your laptop I’d finally force myself to tiptoe at top speed back to my room. I’d get back in bed, pull up the covers and shut my eyes. But I definitely wouldn’t get much sleep that night.”

“Would you be unhappy?”

“Well, sure. I was pretty unhappy the first time I read your letter at Collins and Collins. It forced me to confront a lot of things I didn’t want to know. That you were a human being with feelings, and that I had made a lot of assumptions that were simply untrue. This wouldn’t have been quite as mind-blowing. Back then, I only hated you in a general sense, not for specific things like you-know-who and Jane and Bing.”

William shook his head. “There were specific things even back then. What about my callous words that you overheard after we danced at the wedding?”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess so. But I didn’t want to admit that my feelings had been hurt. It was easier to hate you for things that I thought you did to other people. Anyway, I would have been tossing and turning, trying – and failing – to fit this eavesdropped conversation into my narrow, prejudiced view of William Darcy. Oh, and I’d definitely be fighting really hard not to hear Gigi’s words over and over again. _You like her!_ That would have been impossible to wrap my mind around. I’d find myself reviewing every encounter with you and finding a new interpretation for everything you’d said and done. It would torture me. I’d be positively zombie-like the next morning.”

“And would you behave differently around me after that?”

“Are you kidding me?” She laughed. “I’d be completely freaking out. Barely able to make eye contact, stuttering and stammering, looking for the fastest way to get out of the room whenever you were there. Let’s say it’s the very next day, and I stumble out of my bedroom. Everyone else ate breakfast hours ago, but you’re in the kitchen for whatever reason –”

“I would be in the kitchen, ostensibly because the table provided a useful workspace, but in truth because I knew you were sleeping late and worried you were unwell. I would be waiting for your arrival and rehearsing some solicitous words I could offer you, as well as something to eat or drink that could help you feel better.”

“Really?” Lizzie pulled back from him, examining his face in the dim moonlight. “Did you do actually do that when I was at Netherfield? Plan to run into me, prepare what you were going to say?”

His chin lowered into his neck. “I…did. Frequently.”

She planted a kiss on his cheek. “Well, thanks, belatedly.”

“Lizzie.” He seemed truly pained. “I know this is only hypothetical, but I cannot feel satisfied with this scenario if you are the only one affected by this change. If I continued to be the same obtuse, unthinking man as I was at Netherfield, we never could have gotten together.”

“Oh, I agree,” she said breezily, “though I wouldn’t use quite the same words to describe you. Just wait. Things are going to change for the both of us very quickly.”

“When you came into the kitchen after a tumultuous night, I cannot imagine you’d be happy to find me there.”

“Not happy, no. But not angry. Just really embarrassed. I’d mumble that I didn’t realize you were working there and start to leave.”

“I would get up and say _Please don’t leave on my account. Are you not feeling well?_ ”

“ _No, it’s fine. I just – didn’t sleep great last night._ ”

“ _I suppose it must be difficult, sleeping in an unfamiliar place._ ”

“A day before, I would have taken your words to mean I was one of those impoverished people who wasn’t used to traveling and couldn’t function away from my own little bed.” She couldn’t help scowling at her past self. “But that morning, I’m forced to realize you might actually be trying to say something nice. So I’d just mutter, _Uh, yeah. Something like that._ ”

“I would ask if I could get you something, particularly recommending a type of tea that I found helpful for headaches and sleeplessness.”

“I’d probably blush then. Because while the day before I would have interpreted your offer as some way to brag about your pretentious, superior tastes, now I’m aware that you want to help me, and it’s pretty obvious that you’re behaving a lot like Bing did when Jane got sick. And there comes Gigi’s _You like her!_ again.”

“Would you accept the tea?”

“I’d try to find some way to say no thank you and get out of there, but I’m just so _tired_. I’d finally shrug and say, _Okay, thanks_ and sit down at the table, rubbing my temples.”

“And I would sneak a glance at you while the water was boiling and marvel at how lovely you looked even straight out of bed after a poor night of sleep.”

Lizzie elbowed him. “Oh, come on.”

“No, I’m quite serious. Part of me imagined that when you came to stay at Netherfield it would prove the cure of my infatuation. That I could admire you from a distance, but in close quarters –”

She had to laugh at the idea of Netherfield being close quarters.

“In close quarters, any flaws and faults would be magnified, and your endearing qualities would no longer be enough to overcome them. I was completely and thoroughly mistaken. I only found more to admire.”

“Funny,” she said, leaning into him, “because I had quite a few viewers of my videos suggesting that I would warm up to you while we shared the same roof.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yes. Talk about dreaming up outlandish scenarios – some of them asked if we’d ever bumped into each other half-naked.”

William choked. 

“Yeah. Like either of us would wander around the house in nothing but a towel. Of course, I didn’t dignify their questions with any responses, but I could have told them I’d seen you half-naked anyway.”

He started. “When was that?”

“Uh, in your swimming trunks? At Netherfield’s pool?”

“Oh. Yes, I’d forgotten about that. I spent most of that afternoon in the water to avoid being too close to you.” She could practically hear him blushing. “Remember that you were in a swimming suit as well.”

“Riiight. Well, it’s not like I wasn’t aware you were objectively attractive. I kind of used it as yet another reason not to like you. You know. _Yeah, of course he’s good-looking, the jerk. He probably parades in front of the mirror ten times a day just to gaze at his dazzling reflection._ ” She winced. “Sorry.”

He squeezed her close in a one-armed embrace. “I have no complaints. Nor doubts about your current opinion of my attractiveness.”

Lizzie grinned. “Anyway, you’re sneaking glances and I’m waiting for my tea and wondering if there is any hope of escaping to my room once it’s ready. Because there is no way I can have a coherent conversation with you right now. Until I suddenly remember a part of your conversation with your sister that’s only tangentially connected to you or me. You’re not sure how Jane feels about Bing. And I feel like maybe I should do something about that.”

“Does that mean that in this scenario, you would prevent that wrong?”

“Change it, anyway. I can see now that Bing was at least partially responsible as well. Even Jane played a part.”

“You’re being generous.”

“No, just honest. So when you brought my cup of tea over, I’d thank you, take a sip and clear my throat. _Bing sure is going nuts about Jane being sick, isn’t he?_ ”

“I would be thrilled that you were initiating a conversation with me, even if I wasn’t entirely comfortable with the topic. _Yes, he tends to respond with disproportionate energy to this sort of thing_ ”

“ _I can only imagine if it were anything more serious than a cold._ ”

“ _Indeed._ ”

“I would pause, take another sip, then say, _Jane really appreciates it, though. She – she really likes Bing. I’ve seen her with other guys. This is different._ ”

“I would raise my eyebrows. _Really?_ ”

“ _Yeah. Maybe it’s kind of hard to tell if you don’t know her that well. But I can see the difference._ ”

“Would you really be so patient at trying to convince me?” William asked. “Overheard phone calls notwithstanding, I would have been very hard-headed and frustrating.”

“I don’t think patient is the right word. Just as hard-headed, maybe?”

“Fair point.”

“ _For one thing,” Lizzie went on, “she came to stay here while our house is unlivable. She wouldn’t agree to that with any some random guy._ And then I’d turn red and add, _Me, I’m just along for the ride._ ”

“I would give some inane reply such as _There is plenty of room here_ , while wondering if you had an ulterior motive in staying at Netherfield.”

“And I did, but it was more along the lines of foiling my mother’s shameless plans to throw Jane and Bing under the same roof together. I wouldn’t mention that, because I really like the two of them as a couple, I just don’t like my mother’s horrifying methods. And I’m sure you wouldn’t either, which makes me both embarrassed and angry.”

“Angry at whom?”

“Both of you. But since the phone conversation, that anger has gotten a little confused. And now that I’ve said my little defense of Jane and finished my tea, I’m getting up to go.”

“I would stand up as well. _I hope you feel better, Lizzie._ ”

“And now I’m forced to admit the genuine concern in your voice, which makes me very nervous, so I brush it off with something like, _Well, another few days and I’ll be home again, back in my own bed._ Except that two weeks stretches into a month, and every single day I have to confront the fact that I was wrong about you.”

“I’m still not sure how any of this would impel me to change my perspective and improve my faults.”

“I have some ideas. Like that conversation about accomplished women. If that had happened after I’d heard you talking to your sister, I would have responded to it differently.”

“Surely you wouldn’t have found my words any less judgmental or pretentious.”

“No….but I think I would been more confused by it. It wouldn’t have matched up with the guy who was up in the middle of the night, consoling a distraught sister. I mean, Gigi didn’t sound well-accomplished and put-together at that moment, and you clearly didn’t care. Not to mention….if you really did like me, then what were you doing pointing out all the ways I failed in your estimation?”

“I really was insufferable, wasn’t I?” he said in quiet resignation.

“Just a little bit. So I’d somehow work up my courage and confront you about it. _You do realize you’re basically insulting every woman in this town, don’t you?_ ”

“I would stare at you, perhaps realizing too late that I should have offered you a more direct compliment – to indicate that I considered you an unusually accomplished woman considering your circumstances. And you would have looked right back, and something in your gaze would tell me that you didn’t need me to gratify your own vanity. _I did not intend to imply_ – I would begin.”

“ _But you did anyway, didn’t you?_ ”

“I would be so stunned I wouldn’t know how to reply. But Lizzie, I find that I’m confused by this scenario. Your softening view of my character would make you harsher toward me?” 

“Kind of. I guess I would realize you were capable of being better than you were. Before, I figured you were a hopeless jerk and never expected any better from you.”

“I see. And I can easily imagine that your censure would have forced me to reconsider my behavior. It certainly did at Collins and Collins.”

“I think by the time Bing wanted to take us to that wine tasting, I might have agreed to go along, just to have a chance to observe you. I’d be really nervous and still have lots of misgivings about what sort of person you really were, but I’d allow for at least the tiny slim chance that you weren’t a complete jerk.”

“That’s a beginning. How would you respond, during the wine tasting, if I attempted to pay you a compliment? Perhaps something about how I admired your affection for Jane?”

“That’s good. Any guy can compliment your looks. It takes someone special to compliment your character. And I might actually reciprocate, acknowledging that you seemed really close to your sister. Then I’d bite my tongue, because maybe I wouldn’t know that if I hadn’t overheard the phone call.”

“I wouldn’t suspect anything. I would feel pained, however, because I felt that I had failed Gigi terribly that year. And it would probably show on my face.”

“And even though I didn’t know the specifics, I might recognize that something had had happened to your sister and you felt responsible for it. So I’d try to shift the conversation to something else. _So, uh, it’s really pretty here, huh?_ ”

“ _Very,_ ” William said, with an intense look that was unmistakable even in the dark.

“Wow.” Lizzie settled into the crook of his arm. “Poor Caroline. She would have been watching us. And she would have been furious.”

“Indeed.”

“I would have been a lot more reluctant when she tried to goad me into hating you more.”

“How would it have affected your videos?”

“Well, I definitely wouldn’t have mentioned the phone conversation. Not directly. But I would have been…less certain when it came to you. Hesitant to talk about you as much.”

“If I had realized that your speaking of me less was a sign that you didn’t hate me as much, I would have taken far more comfort from your later videos.”

Lizzie laughed. “Yeah, it’s pretty confusing, I know.”

“And what about my ill-conceived attempt to ask you to dance?”

“Oh. Huh.” She smiled ruefully. “I probably would have recognized it for what it was, but I would have been really embarrassed. Especially considering how our last dance went. So I’d say something like, _Oh, yeah, actually I don’t really like this song that much._ ”

“ _Oh. I see._ ”

"And we’d stand around awkwardly for a second until I finally blurted, _Uh, nice speakers, though._ ”

“ _Thank you._ ”

“ _Is that, like, your field of expertise?_ ”

“I would be confused and startled that you weren’t aware of the exact nature of my profession. Then I would be forced to realize there might be things which I assumed you knew even though I had never explicitly told you about them. _Somewhat. Pemberley Digital encompasses a variety of different media._ ”

“ _Oh, is that your company?_ ”

“Had I really never mentioned Pemberley around you?”

“No, I’m sure you did. I just filtered out a lot of what you said, assuming it wasn’t worth hearing. Pretty awful, huh?”

“Easily forgiven. Would this exchange lead to a meaningful conversation?”

“I think so. It might even merit a mention in my next video. Wow. I’m not sure what I would have talked about if I wasn’t complaining about you. I sure spent a lot of time on that. But I could see myself hesitantly mentioning that we had a civil, intelligent conversation. I think by the time I left Netherfield, we’d be approaching something like friendship.”

“Then what?”

“So then, when Ricky Collins showed up, I might decide I could talk to you to vent about it. Charlotte just kept telling me to be nice to him. And I really needed to vent. I think –” She bit her lip. “I think that’s why I responded so eagerly when you-know-who started texting me. It was an outlet for all my frustration. But if you were already providing me an outlet, I’d see how shallow he was in comparison.”

“I admit I would have preferred this part of the scenario very much over what actually happened.”

“So would we all. Maybe I’d call you, or maybe we’d even meet up, and I’d start out complaining about Ricky, but then maybe the conversation would wander to more normal things, and we’d actually have a good time together. By the time Charlotte accepted Ricky’s offer and we had our big fight, there’d be no question where I’d go to find a shoulder to cry on.”

“I thought Jane did an excellent job of comforting you.”

“She did, she definitely did. But in this scenario, I’d know – thanks to you – just how insecure Bing was, and I’d insist that she go and spend time with him. And then I’d call you up and ask if we could meet somewhere and talk.”

“I would, of course, readily assent. Where would you like to meet?”

“Somewhere quiet and secluded. Maybe the park down the street. We’d sit on a bench and I’d pour out the whole ugly story.”

“I would try to be a sympathetic listener, terrified that one word or misplaced gesture would destroy everything.”

“You’d be fine. I wouldn’t need any words or gestures, just listening. Toward the end I’d want some sort of validation, though. _Am I wrong for wanting to finish my degree? For wanting to find a job I actually care about?_ ”

“ _I believe your talents would be sadly wasted working for Ricky Collins._ ”

“I’d wipe my eyes and say, _You think I’m talented?_ ”

“ _Of course you are. You have a gift for engaging people when you speak. You’re a natural storyteller._ ”

“Then I’d get nervous, because you still didn’t know about my videos and if the earlier ones weren’t full of insults at you, I might take that moment to tell you about them. But underneath that nervousness I’d be flattered, and just a little giddy that you thought so highly of me. But then – then, let’s throw in a twist. Lydia texts me and begs me to come with her to Carter’s. In her way, she’s trying to help cheer me up, though I probably wouldn’t see it that way. So I let out a long-suffering sigh and say I have to go babysit my sister. _Um – do you want to come along?_ ”

“ _All right._ If I recall correctly, Bing was out of town that evening.”

“That’s right…and Caroline made sure that you saw Jane surrounded by guys at the bar, apparently flirting with all of them. Blech. Well, she might have tried to engineer something similar, but it would have turned out very differently.”

“Something else very unwelcome happened at the bar that evening.”

“Oh, I know. We’re getting to that. So, we meet up with Lydia and Jane at the bar, and Caroline comes along a little later, and it’s kind of a weird, awkward get-together, but Jane is able to smooth everything over with her Jane-ness, and even when Caroline pulls you aside and points out how friendly she’s being with all the other guys, you know it’s not flirting. So everything’s going great until a certain swim coach swaggers up to us.”

“Different circumstances notwithstanding, I expect my reaction would be exactly the same as it was in the real scenario.”

“But mine would be different. I’d follow you outside and catch up with you before you could leave. _What’s going on? What was that all about – do you know each other?_ ” 

“ _Unfortunately, yes._ ” 

“ _Well?_ ”

“ _I’d rather not talk about it._ ”

“ _Okay. But is he, like, a serial killer? Should I warn my sisters or something?_ ”

“ _You might want to warn them. To my knowledge he has not committed murder, but other things –_ ”

“Then I’d blurt it out. _Is he the guy who hurt your sister?_ ”

“I would stare at you, not knowing what to say, where to begin with my questions.”

“ _Crap. I – I’m sorry._ ”

“ _What do you know about that?_ ”

“ _Just – I kind of overheard you talking to her. At Netherfield. I didn’t hear any details. Just that some guy had really hurt her, and you were comforting her._ I’d stare at the ground and hope you didn’t remember what else you said in that conversation.”

“I would finally manage to say _Why didn’t you mention it?_ ”

“ _Uh, it was private and I was embarrassed for stumbling on it. I’m really sorry._ ”

“ _I see._ ”

“I wouldn’t be able to meet your eyes. Ironic, I’d think, that the thing that made me stop hating you might be the thing that would ruin our newfound friendship.”

“ _Have you mentioned this to anyone else?_ ”

“ _Of course not!_ ”

“ _Then I don’t see that you have anything to apologize for._ ”

“ _Really?_ Really?” Lizzie only now realized how tense she had been, half-forgetting that none of this was real, truly concerned that she had ruined the beginnings of their relationship. 

He kissed the top of her head. “You’re too hard on yourself. You always have been.”

“That’s up for debate.” She sighed. “Anyway, I’d have trouble finding words, but I’d finally say, _I think I might tell my sisters something non-specific. How about, I found out he’s a real jerk who broke a girl’s heart really badly?_ ”

“ _Several girls._ ”

“ _Ugh. I can’t believe I actually –_ ”

“I’d turn to you sharply. _Actually what?_ ”

“ _We kind of flirted, the last time he was in town. I thought he was charming._ I’d be red-faced, feeling vaguely guilty even though it’s not like we’re in a relationship, and we definitely weren’t a few months ago.”

“ _He is charming. One of his more dangerous qualities._ ”

“ _Listen, Darcy. I’m really sorry you had to run into him. I totally understand if you’d rather go home now._ ”

“ _But –?_ ”

“ _Um, could we just go for a walk?_ ”

“ _I would not object to that._ ”

“So I’d text Jane to let her know where I was, and we’d start walking. And after we talked about easier things for a while, I’d take a breath and say, _I feel like if I’m coming clean about things, there’s something else I should tell you._ ”

“ _What is it?_ ”

“ _I hated you when I first met you._ ”

“The word _hate_ would have me taken aback. I knew you didn’t seem particularly warm toward me, but hate? That I would not expect.”

“ _I didn’t really know you. I made a lot of assumptions, and I interpreted everything you did to fit what I already believed._ ”

“ _I see._ ”

“ _I was wrong._ ”

Quietly William said, “I would find it very hard to speak. _What – what changed your mind?_ ”

“ _Um. It was the phone call with your sister, actually. It forced me to see a different side of you._ ”

“ _I see._ ”

“ _I felt bad for accidentally eavesdropping, but honestly I’m glad it happened, if that was what it took to open my eyes._ ”

“ _I see._ ”

“ _Would you please say something else?_ ” Lizzie had to resist the urge to knock him in the arm. He was playing his part very convincingly. “I’d be afraid that underneath your stoic face, there was a simmering fury.”

“It wouldn’t be fury; it would be fear. Fear that our friendship was built upon something so tenuous, that it could just as easily be eradicated. _I apologize. This is – a lot to process._ ”

“ _Well, there’s more._ ”

“ _Oh?_ ”

“ _Yeah._ I’d be bracing myself at this point, ready for some kind of explosion. _I have a video blog. I’ve been running it since April._ ”

“I would be relieved, having expected something far worse. _That sounds like an excellent outlet for your talents._ ”

“ _I’m not sure you’d be saying that if you’d seen the videos._ ”

“ _Why?_ ”

She swallowed. “ _Because I spent the first, oh, twenty-five or so, complaining about you. A lot._ ”

“ _I see._ ”

“It would be very uncomfortable,” she sighed. “But we’d have to get that out in the open.”

“Would you give me permission to watch them?”

“Well, yeah. Not that you needed it. But you’d ask for it, wouldn’t you?” She laced her fingers through his. “You’re so stupidly honorable. I love you.”

“So I would watch them. And I would call you the next day and ask if we could meet.”

“I’d say yes, but I’d be terrified. _Do you want to just come over here, to my house?_ Because I’d be thinking of that time I said it would be ridiculous for you show up in my videos, in my bedroom. Inviting you there would be like an apology, somehow.”

“ _That’s fine._ ”

“I’d have the stools set up, but the camera wouldn’t be on. We’d sit down.”

“ _So this is where you film them._ ”

“ _Yes._ ”

“I would be choosing my words very carefully, very gingerly. _I’ve come here to apologize._ ”

“ _A-apologize?_ ”

“ _For my words at the wedding. They were thoughtless and hurtful. I didn’t know you overheard me, but that is no excuse. I am sorry._ ”

“You’re _sorry? After everything I said about you – all the horrible insults and angry rants – the costume and the robotic voice? And_ you’re _apologizing to me?_ ”

“ _Do you feel the need to apologize to me?_ ”

“ _Uh, yeah. I’m really, really, really sorry._ ”

“ _All right._ ”

“ _That’s it? It’s all forgiven?_ ”

“ _Yes._ ”

“ _Wow. Okay. Don’t worry about the wedding. Seriously._ Then I’d get really daring and dive right in. _I – I kind of overheard more than I said before. During your conversation with your sister._ ”

“I would hesitate, then ask, _What else did you hear?_ ”

“ _That you – liked me. At least according to your sister._ And I’d be looking everywhere but at you.”

“ _I did._ ”

“ _Did?_ ” The past tense was frightening.

“ _I did like you, in spite of myself. That was before. Now there is no longer any inner struggle. And Lizzie Bennet, I am in love with you._ ”

And that was the right moment to kiss him.

She smiled then and whispered against his lips, “Somehow we always end up back here.”

“Yes, we do,” he murmured. “It’s nice to find ourselves right where we belong.”


	3. The Videos, Part 1

They were having dinner late again, not unusual for two people who both often worked past seven. This time it was Lizzie’s meeting that went long, so it was Darcy’s turn to keep the food warm while he waited. One of the resolutions they had made early in their relationship was that no matter how busy their lives, no matter how difficult it was to coordinate their schedules, they would make an effort to share at least one meal together every day. Only when they were actually in different cities did they allow exceptions.

She let out a sigh as she dropped her fork to her empty plate. “All right. You cooked; I’ll clean. Just give me a minute.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He rose, stacked her plate on his, and carried them to the sink. “I can see you’ve had a harder day than mine.”

“If I weren’t bone tired I’d put up more of a protest. Thanks.”

He rinsed the dishes, put them in the dishwasher, and wiped down the counters with brisk efficiency. He was frequently tempted to point out to Lizzie that her dislike of cleaning could be alleviated if she just went in and got the job done instead of procrastinating and letting the mess pile up, not to mention getting distracted and therefore taking twice as long to finish – but he wisely kept his mouth shut. There was always the risk of her bringing up the housekeepers who had done most of the work during his childhood so he had never learned to develop a distaste for chores. He had learned from painful experience to avoid such inflammatory topics.

And then there was the fact that he genuinely enjoyed finding ways to make life easier for his wife. It was only fair, since she brought so much pleasure and sunlight into his own. “Lizzie,” he said thoughtfully as he rejoined her at the table, “perhaps this is silly, but I can’t helping thinking of that scenario we discussed that night after our anniversary.”

“Oh, really?” She looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Did you want to act out what would have happened after I kissed you?”

That was very tempting. “Perhaps….later. What I was thinking, though. In that situation you did most of the work in changing our relationship. You were certainly the instigator, in any case.”

“Okay….”

“Much as I enjoyed speculating about it, I couldn’t help envisioning a scenario wherein I, instead, instigated the initial changes.”

Lizzie’s weariness drained away, replaced by lively enthusiasm. “Is that so?” She leaned over the table, chin resting on her hands. “Do tell.”

“What if I stumbled across your videos on my own?”

She let out a short laugh. “What if indeed. I’ve imagined that plenty of times myself. But it usually ends with you hating me, and maybe a lawsuit or two thrown in for good measure.”

“There is no scenario I could possibly dream up that would end with that,” he said earnestly.

“I know. Which is a great comfort. I’m impressed by your ability not to get offended, I just think you’re underestimating my ability to be offensive.”

He waved away this absurd notion. “What I’m trying to decide, however, is how and when. If you hadn’t informed me yourself, I’m not sure that I ever would have become aware of your video blog.”

“I think we can come up with something. But when, that’s a crucial question. From the very beginning? Don’t tell me you would have fallen in love with me just by watching me make fun of my parents and sisters for a couple of minutes.”

“Not love, but I would have been intrigued.”

“You would have behaved differently toward me at the wedding.”

“I would hope so.”

“Would you have told me you knew about the videos?”

“That’s a good question. I’m not sure. Perhaps not immediately.”

“Yeah, it would be a pretty weird conversation starter,” Lizzie giggled. “ _Hey, I know you from the Internet!_ ”

He shook his head. “I almost feel it would be too easy for me. I would have too much of an advantage over you, knowing who you were and at least something about you before we ever met.”

“I knew almost nothing about you and still felt I could make any number of assumptions about your character.” She buried her face in her hands and reemerged, shaking it off. “Argh. Never mind. Should we look at a different timeline? Move the discovery to some later point in our acquaintance?”

“How about several weeks later? When I was reluctantly beginning to acknowledge an interest in you.”

“You mean like your fascination for my _fine eyes_?”

Darcy reddened. “That was a misrepresentation of my words.”

“Sure it was. Okay, so that’s our when. What’s the how?”

“That will be difficult. I was never one to idly browse the Internet, and I only engaged with social media on a sporadic basis.”

“Which is pretty weird for the head of a digital media company.”

“I was selective. I preferred establishing a handful of high-quality platforms rather than a large quantity of poor quality.”

“And yet you stooped to the plebian realm of YouTube to set up the Domino test run.”

“That was largely thanks to you,” he said, ready to move on with the conversation, but her jaw dropped and she cut in.

“Uh, what? My doing? I had nothing to do with Domino.”

“Your videos are what inspired me to use YouTube for our platform.” Had he not told her this already? She blinked, clearly stunned. “Till that point,” he went on, “I doubted that a channel on YouTube would attract viewers of any significant discernment. Then I saw that you had created high-quality, intelligent content there, drawing in a similarly intelligent audience. My low opinion of the platform was instantly elevated.”

“Wow. Okay, first of all, you are definitely a snob.” Darcy could not help stiffening, but she went on with a warm smile, “A snob who’s willing to broaden his perspective, especially when encouraged by a pair of _fine eyes_.”

He rolled his own eyes, though her teasing, as always, made him love her more. “Shall we get back on track? I believe I’ve effectively explained how I managed to remain oblivious to your video blog until external circumstances forced me to become aware.”

“So what external circumstances could we contrive to replace my foot-in-mouth moment at Collins and Collins? Oh, I’ve got an idea.” She bounced up in her seat. “Let’s say there’s some article floating around the upper echelons of business bigwigs –”

“Business bigwigs?” he repeated dubiously. 

“Just for the alliteration. You’ll see. So, this article is talking about controlling your online persona, and recommends that you Google your name frequently to remain aware of what’s trending in regards to your persona.”

Immediately he said, “I would ignore it. If there’s any serious issues with my online image, I have assistants who could apprise me of it. Googling oneself is nothing but vanity, the need to see one’s name over and over.”

“I’ve Googled myself more than once.”

“It would be vanity for me,” he corrected, fumbling. 

“I’m teasing,” she said, and he relaxed somewhat. “If it feels vain to you, then you don’t have to do it. To each their own. But I’m getting to the best part. See, Fitz reads the article. When he can’t convince you to do it yourself, he decides to Google you. And one of the things that comes up is my videos.”

“Fitz finds them first.” He tapped his fingers against the table contemplatively. “Hence the alliteration.”

“Mmm-hmm. So, I don’t think he’d watch all of them. Not right away. As soon as he realized we were talking about you and Bing and Caroline, he’d call you. _Hey, Darcy, do you know someone named Lizzie Bennet?_ ” Her imitation of Fitz’s voice was both accurate and hilarious.

“I would be startled, to say the least. _Have you been talking to Bing?_ ”

“Even though Bing would be a lot more likely to mention Jane.”

“True.”

“ _Uh, no_ Fitz would say. _I take it you know her, then?_ ”

“ _We are – acquainted._ ”

“ _Well, congratulations. You’ve made it onto her video blog._ ”

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

“ _Yeah. You’d better check it out. The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, on YouTube._ ”

“ _Thank you for apprising me of this._ ” He considered the scenario. “I don’t think I would seek out your videos immediately. I would be anxious, uncertain. At this point I could only guess at your feelings about me. You seemed friendly enough, but beyond that I had no idea. In a way I might prefer to keep it a mystery for the time being.”

“I was way too good at disguising my hatred,” she sighed. “Fake politeness is overrated.”

He glanced at her. “You might be veering into a different scenario.”

“Right, sorry,” she said in mock-seriousness. “One speculation at a time.”

“So I would begin watching perhaps the next day. This would be fifteen or sixteen videos, right? I would be done in about an hour.”

“A little less grueling than your 60-video marathon.”

“But similarly illuminating. I would see the effect of my thoughtless words at the wedding, and how my cold demeanor and reticence justifiably perpetuated your initial impression.”

“And my judginess and stubborn refusal to admit when I’m wrong,” Lizzie put in cheerily. “Don’t overlook those lovely qualities.” 

“I would have been shocked, there is no denying that. When I actually watched those first 60 videos, I already knew your dislike of me. In this situation, it would have come as a complete surprise. I would be wounded, perhaps briefly angry. But I believe eventually I would have to admit the justice of your criticisms. I would have been abashed by my own reservations about your family and financial situation after realizing they were concerns that significantly occupied your own mind, but in a far more nuanced manner.”

“Nuanced? You’d call my costumed impressions of my mother nuanced?”

“More than my initial viewpoint. I would harbor no more arrogant doubts about whether you were worthy of me. I would know, instead, that I was not worthy of you.”

“Whatever. But at that point you weren’t even sure if you _wanted_ to like me, or be liked by me. Would you want to go through all that trouble to fix my opinion of you?”

“My aim would not be to fix anything about you,” he said with a frown. “It would be to amend my own bad behavior. Whether or not that changed your opinion is not the issue. It is a matter of principle.”

“That’s also true of what really happened, isn’t it?” she said quietly. “After you left Collins and Collins, you didn’t plan on ever seeing me again. You didn’t know that improving yourself would eventually result in me seriously changing my mind. Your motives were totally selfless.”

“You’re exaggerating my virtues. But surely you’re not just _now_ realizing my intentions after leaving Hunsford?”

“No, I knew it,” she said. “I just love it.” They shared a smile. “But let’s be honest,” she went on briskly. “We know this story has to lead to us getting together. Isn’t that the point? So how would you go about convincing me that I had completely misjudged you?”

He considered. “If I recall correctly, the week after the video game incident at the local bar, I actually came to your neighborhood with a vague notion of visiting you. I never did build up my resolve enough to come to your door, but Jane spotted me and mentioned it to you later.”

“Right. I remember that. That was swim week.” She made a face. “I bet that jerkface Googles himself on a daily basis. That’s probably how _he_ found out about my videos.”

“Most probably.”

“Would you keep watching my new videos? You’d find out that I’d met him and…” She swallowed, grimaced anew. “All that unpleasant stuff.”

“I would. And I would be furious with him, but aware that there was little I could do to protect you as long as you thought so poorly of me. If I could amend that at least somewhat, I might be able to warn you. It would provide further incentive.

“I believe in this situation I would not have attempted to visit you,” he continued. “I would have given you space. The pleasure I derived from your company was not worth the possibility of causing you pain. But there would be no avoiding it when you came to the party at Netherfield. Bing would have been confused and hurt if I didn’t participate.”

“And what would you be thinking of him and Jane at this point?”

“I would have to reconsider my initial assumption of Jane’s indifference. She was less reserved about her feelings in your videos. Not to mention the guilt that would arise whenever she spoke to you in my defense. Perhaps I would try to spend the party observing her and Bing, reassessing their relationship.”

“And I would have assumed you were scowling at them in disapproval,” she sighed.

“True.” He pondered for a moment. “What if I attempted to engage not you, but Jane, in conversation? I might have found it easier to converse with her, less likely to make me tongue-tied, particularly if Bing was there as well. And it could be a small way of making amends for doubting her genuine interest in her relationship with Bing.”

“I wouldn’t know what to think of it. I’d try to find some way to explain it away as more evidence of your jerkiness. Like maybe you were trying to shove your way into a private conversation and ruin their moment. Even if it was obvious to any other observer that they didn’t mind and you were perfectly polite and thoughtful about it.”

“What if I managed a smile?”

“Well, that changes everything,” she said, giving a wicked smile of her own. “I’d wonder if you had been taken over by an alien. In fact, I might just march right over there to find out what you were talking about and determine whether mind control was involved somehow.”

“Since I have little skill with instigating small talk, why don’t we assume that I had joined them in whatever topic they were already discussing. Perhaps the upcoming trip to Vidcon?”

“Makes sense. So I’d show up just as Jane was saying, _Oh, yes, it should be very fun. And it’s all thanks to Lizzie, isn’t it?_ she’d say to me, smiling broadly. And I would try not to panic, because it was really thanks to my videos, which I really don’t want certain people to know about.”

“And I could easily guess the reason you were having trouble responding. It would be supremely difficult for me to speak as well, this being the closest I had been to you since discovering your videos. I would force myself to say something, however, if only to rescue you from your discomfort. _It seems like an excellent venue for a mass communications student. I’m sure it will be highly beneficial for your studies._ ”

“And I would just kind of stare at you, thinking there must be sarcasm or disgust somewhere in your words, but unable to find any. _Uh, yeah. Definitely. I’m really looking forward to it._ ” 

“I would fumble for anything further to say, afraid that I would betray my knowledge of your videos, and finally ask something to which I already knew the answer. _Will Charlotte Lu be attending as well?_ ”

“ _Yes._ I’d be kind of bewildered that you cared. And then I’d look around and discover, to my horror, that Jane and Bing had managed to slip away and leave us alone. I’d calculate just how rude it would be to walk away without another word, and whether I even cared about being rude or not.”

“And I would know it was kinder to let you go. Safer for me as well.”

“But then I’d let something slip out about Bing and Jane making googly eyes in the corner. _Those two. I’m stuck somewhere between wanting to smile at them and wanting to vomit._ ”

“That would make me laugh. _They certainly seem very fond of each other._ ”

“I’d be totally thrown off by your laugh – understated though it was – having expected a scowl at the mention of their relationship. Then I’d say something bold. _What do you think of them, anyway? It’s happening awfully fast._ ”

“ _Yes. I would not pursue a relationship so hastily, myself. But Bing is a very different man than I am. As long as your sister approves, they are welcome to proceed however they wish._ ”

“This would only further support my theory of alien abduction. Who were you and what had you done with William Darcy? _So…you don’t have any other objections?_ ”

“ _If I did, they would be irrelevant to the matter at hand_ , I would reply stiffly, afraid that you had somehow intuited my interest in you. _It is Bing’s relationship, not my own._ ”

“ _Well, yeah. But I’ve noticed he tends to turn to you for advice. Approval, even._ At this point I’d be poking the bear, trying to get mean, unpleasant Darcy to reappear.”

“ _He does frequently seek my advice, I suppose. I believe that is common between friends, is it not?_ ”

“ _Sure. It just seems kind of….one-sided._ ”

“ _I have occasionally solicited his advice. He is, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, far more at ease in navigating social situations, and at times I’ve turned to him for suggestions in that area. You might not have personally witnessed it, but I assure you it has happened._ ”

“Wow. Was that an actual teasing tone you were taking with me? Very daring. Very risky.”

“ _Did it pay off?_ ”

“Maaaybe. I’m definitely caught off balance. I was expecting you to get offended and instead you’re practically smiling. And is that – no, really? A twinkle in your eye? This is freaky. _Anyway…uh, I’d better look for Lydia and make sure she’s not sock sliding down a hallway somewhere._ Then I’d get out of there in a big hurry.”

“I might feel I had made some small progress in improving my behavior, but it was plain that the damage I had done upon our first meeting would not be repaired in a single conversation. That would have to be enough for one evening.” He looked across the table at Lizzie ruefully. “I would be at turns exhilarated, anxious and bewildered. Any time I spent with you gave me a myriad array of conflicting emotions.”

“You’d be waiting for my next video, right?”

“Actually, I’d be uncomfortable at the thought of watching it. I’d want to, of course, but I’d also fear that if you mentioned me, I’d be hearing words never intended for my ears.”

“If I didn’t want you to hear them, I shouldn’t have put them up on the _Internet_. Let’s keep all the ethical quandaries on my side, shall we?” Somehow she managed to say all of this with a delightfully flirtatious tone. “I don’t think I’d mention you in that video anyway. Too much confusion to deal with. I’d focus on Jane staying up all night with Bing, like I did in real life.”

“I would be a bit disappointed, and chastise myself for feeling that way. It should be enough that you weren’t actively delineating your hatred of me.”

“Don’t worry. It’ll come up in the next video.”

“Really?” His voice came out hoarse. He cleared his throat.

“Yeah. But we can’t keep this up.” She chuckled. “These scenarios keep getting longer and longer and more indulgent. Can we go to bed and pick this up tomorrow?”

“Absolutely.”


	4. The Videos, Part 2

Fortunate that the next day was Saturday. They started right back into it over breakfast that morning, and having to stop again for the entirety of a workday would have been intolerable.

“So how do I feature in your next video?” he asked over a cup of orange juice.

“Charlotte’s doing. I’d be going on about suspecting my mother of some new convoluted plan, and she’d pop in and say, _You’re really not going to talk about what else happened at the party?_ And I’d raise my eyebrows and say I had no idea what she was talking about. _Oh, come on. Your private little conversation with a certain gentleman?_ ”

Darcy gripped her hand. “I might have to pause the video at that moment and pace around the room before I could sit down and continue.”

“ _Oh, please. That was nothing. I was talking to Bing and Jane. He just happened to be there. Then the two lovebirds abandoned us, and I was stuck making small talk with the worst conversationalist in the world._ Sorry, William,” she added hastily. “I’m trying to be as realistic as possible.”

“Understood.”

“Charlotte would shake her head. _If you didn’t want to talk to him, why did you stick around for so long instead of escaping right away?_ I’d scoff. _It wasn’t that long. Maybe five minutes._ She’d persist. _And…? What did you talk about?_ ” He couldn’t help marveling at how easily she switched voices and facial expressions as she shifted from her character to Charlotte’s and back again. “ _Nothing. Just Jane and Bing and how nauseating they are. And before you point out that we agreed on something, everyone agrees that Jane and Bing are nauseating._ ” She wavered, as if Charlotte were actually giving her a skeptical look. “ _Fine. It was a relatively normal conversation. The first one I’ve ever had with Darcy. But I’m sure it’ll be the last, so don’t get any ideas!_ ”

“Bravo,” Darcy said, clapping. “An exquisite performance.”

She gave a small bow from where she was sitting. “Apologies for the insults.”

“You’re staying true to your character. I take no offense.”

“So, then I’d change the topic to Vidcon and avoid any further mention of you, which would persist through the next two videos.”

“I would watch them, bemused when Collins showed up and mentioned my aunt, and startled when I discovered you and Jane were coming to stay at Netherfield.”

“Didn’t Bing tell you right away?”

“No. I came across him airing out the guest rooms. I asked if we were expecting visitors. He looked surprised, then embarrassed, and said he’d completely forgotten to tell me that you and Jane would be arriving in a few days. Then he realized he hadn’t told Caroline either and ran out to talk to her, leaving me to process this alarming new development.”

“Of course Caroline already knew since she’d discovered my videos,” Lizzie said. “And in this scenario, so did you. Poor Bing is the only one still in the dark.”

“I might have considered telling him….eventually. I’m not sure when. I would be uncomfortable about my own humiliation, and not too eager to share it right away.”

“But first you’d have to deal with Caroline. I’m sure she would still show up in my first video at Netherfield.”

“True. I would already be anxious about viewing that video, uncertain whether you had noticed any of my efforts to improve myself.”

“Oh, I think I would. After raving about dual-headed showers, I’d mention having to live under the same roof as you and say, _I don’t know what it is, but he’s been even weirder than usual since we came here. He’s constantly apologizing. If I come into a room when he’s there, he jumps up, says, ‘Sorry’ and leaves. If I ask where they keep the soap or the towels, he tells me in this brusque, hurried voice, and tops it off with ‘I’m sorry it wasn’t clear’ before fleeing the scene. Seriously. It’s like he can’t get rid of me fast enough. Now, if he were apologizing for being an arrogant, insufferable snob, it would at least make sense. Not that I’d expect that to happen any time soon._ ”

“This would prove very informative for me, but rather disheartening as well.”

“Yeah. And then Caroline would come along.”

“I would not be happy with her deception. She had never spoken well of you, particularly after she realized I was developing an interest in you, so I would know her wish to befriend you was not genuine. Unpleasant though it would be, I would have to confront her.”

“Now that’s something I’d pay to see.”

He grimaced. “I doubt it would be entertaining. I would approach her one evening when I knew Bing was out purchasing some new gift for Jane. I wouldn’t need to say very much. I’d set down my laptop in front of her with your latest video in the browser window. _Well?_ ”

“ _You’ve seen it_ ,” Lizzie said in a creditable impression of Bing’s sister. Darcy had never heard her attempt to imitate Caroline before. It was a little disconcerting. “ _I suppose you’re angry. But you must realize I was protecting you. If you’ve seen the other videos –_ ”

“ _I’ve seen them._ ”

“ _Then you know all the horrifying things Lizzie Bennet has said about you and Bing. I was trying to keep the peace while we’re all trapped under the same roof together. I had very good intentions._ ”

“ _Perhaps. But that’s irrelevant. I know about the videos. And you’re being deceptive._ ”

Lizzie tossed her hair in an alarmingly Caroline-like manner. “ _And you’re not? How long have you known about the videos and kept that a secret from Lizzie?_ ”

He was at a loss for words, stymied by an imaginary attacker. 

“ _You know she doesn’t deserve your attention. How can you doubt that after watching her videos? Go ahead and tell her you know about them. She’ll just hate you more. She doesn’t know a good man when he’s standing right in front of her._ And then she’d flounce off in an angry huff.”

“And I would sit there, alone, and realize she was right.”

“Yeah, I was totally blind to you.”

“Not about that,” Darcy said, frowning at her. “I meant that I was practicing deception myself. I needed to come clean about seeing your videos.”

“Whoa. Right away? That seems – disastrous. I think you’d have good reasons for keeping quiet about it.”

“Nevertheless. Caroline’s accusation would trouble me more and more. I could not ignore it.”

“She was just lashing out,” Lizzie said. “She’d been cornered, and she was trying to deflect attention away from herself. You know that, right?” She laughed suddenly, running a hand over her face. “Also this is all made up, and Caroline never said any of it. Kind of forgot that for a second.”

“As did I. Don’t worry, Lizzie. I would tread carefully. The next day I would seek you out and attempt a conversation about your time at Vidcon.”

“Naturally I’d be really suspicious at this harmless friendly overture.”

“I would apologize if I was disturbing you, but say that I could not help being intrigued by your interest in web video since my own company specialized in digital media.”

“ _Uh…okay._ I’d put down the book I was reading and kind of glare at you. _Why now, all of the sudden?_ ”

“You certainly wouldn’t make it easy for me. _Because…I was inclined to dismiss YouTube as a platform for quality content, until recently. Now I have become aware of its potential for attracting intelligent and inventive storytellers._ ”

“Now I’d be really wary, with a growing sense of foreboding. _What exactly are you referring to?_ ”

“If you insisted on my being direct, I would have no other recourse than to comply. _Your videos._ ”

“I’d turn really pale – well, even more than usual – and stare at you, unable to look away. You’d be looking at me so solemnly. I’d finally choke out _My – videos?_ ”

“ _Yes._ ”

“I’d get up to my feet in a panic. _Oh. So you’ve – oh. Bad. Okay. Really bad. No. I’d better – okay._ ”

“ _Lizzie –_ ”

“I’d turn and run. Just flat out run and get away from you before my brain exploded.” 

“And I would stand there and think it certainly could have gone worse.”

“I’d huddle in my room for an hour or so, trying to wrap my mind around this world-shattering development. I’d realize there were a lot of questions I could have asked if I’d been coherent. How long you’d known about them, why you hadn’t confronted me right away – or _had_ it been right away? And just how much money you were going to demand in the lawsuit. At this point I’d reach a level of wild enough desperation to call Charlotte.”

“And what would she say?”

“That she totally knew it, of course. _No way you saw this coming I’d protest._ She’d reply, _Well, not this specifically. But I knew something weird was going on with Darcy the last few weeks. He was acting differently around you. Like he was more – considerate._ And I’d snort and say _That’s a creative way of looking at it._

“ _Lizzie, come on. What about just now? Did he seem angry and accusatory? You said he initiated the whole thing by complimenting you!_ I’d scowl and reply, _I never said that. He said ‘intelligent and inventive storytellers’ in this totally mocking tone with his mocking face and his mocking eyes._ And then I’d kind of run out of steam. _All right. Maybe it wasn’t mocking. I don’t know what it was. I’m really freaking out here._ So she’d spend some time talking me down, pointing out that if you intended to sue me you probably would have opened with that, and convincing me to talk to you again once I’d calmed down enough. I’d doubt that I’d ever be calm enough, but I would promise to try.”

“Then what?”

“Then I think I’d be forced to rewatch my videos and imagine how you might see them. It would be pretty bad. I’d probably be bashing my head against the table toward the end of it. Then I’d get to the last one and have to seriously reconsider what all your apologies meant. And, in turn, why you had complimented my videos. I couldn’t deny that anymore. It would be a very long night.”

“I wouldn’t trouble you. As long as you weren’t seeking me out, I would give you all the space you needed.”

“I’d worry you were too furious with me to be around me. And I’d know, deep down, that there could be some other reason you were avoiding me, a more benevolent motivation, but that would just be too frightening to contemplate. It would probably take a full day before I’d work up the courage to look for you. I’d have to ask Bing where you were since you were making yourself scarce. Next thing I knew, I’d find myself at the door of your bedroom, forcing myself to lift up my hand and knock.”

“I’d say, _Come in_ , never guessing it was you.”

“I would almost turn and run away again, but somehow I would manage to open the door just a little and say, _Um, it’s me._ ”

“ _Oh._ I would get up from my desk and stand there, not wanting to approach you and scare you away. _Hello, Lizzie._ ”

“ _So…._ ” I’d take just one tiny step forward. “ _I guess I should apologize for my, uh, freak-out, the other day._ ”

“ _It was perfectly understandable. I’m sorry for giving you such a shock._ ”

“ _Right._ I’m practically sick to my stomach at this point, but somehow I get the words out. _About that. I think I need some – clarification._ ”

“ _Anything you want._ ”

“I’d wonder why were you being so _nice._ I didn’t even think you were capable of it. _How long – have you known?_ ”

“ _Since the end of May. A colleague and friend of mine discovered them and alerted me to their presence._ ”

“ _May? Wow. Okay._ ”

“ _Only a little over a month ago,_ I would offer, as if that were any consolation.”

“ _And you waited that long to mention it._ ”

“ _I’m sorry for the deception._ I would look down, unable to meet your eyes. _I found myself in a difficult situation. The wrong of concealing it from you seemed a lesser evil than causing you any awkwardness or discomfort. I decided, ultimately, that I could not continue being dishonest. But perhaps I was wrong there._ ”

“ _Stop. Just stop apologizing, okay? This is ridiculous. You watched me making fun of you for weeks, and your reaction is to apologize? Are you trying to torture me? Is this some kind of complicated mind game? Because I can’t take it. I give up, okay? Just get it over with and sue me._ ”

“ _I’m not going to sue you_ ,” Darcy said. Lizzie’s response was very gratifying. By the time they stopped to catch their breath, she was sitting in his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, and there was a pool of milk spilling from a knocked-over bowl of cereal. “I doubt that would have been your reaction in this imaginary situation,” he murmured, brushing a few strands of hair from her flushed face.

“Not quite.” She smoothed out the wrinkles in her pajamas, as prim and poised as one could be while perched on one’s husband’s lap. “Let’s get on with it. I would have just looked at you, terrified and confused, and finally stammer out, _Then what are you going to do?_ ”

“ _What would you like me to do?_ ”

“ _Um…_ This was pretty much the last thing I was expecting. _Maybe give an explanation?_ ”

“ _What exactly would you like me to explain?_ ”

“ _Your behavior, I guess?_ ”

“ _Before or after watching the videos?_ ”

“I could not understand how you were being so obliging. _Let’s just start with before and go from there._ ”

“ _Very well._ I would realize it was rude to leave you standing there, but would also be very aware of where we were. _Would you – care to sit?_ ”

“Luckily, there’d be a chair at the other side of the room, so I could take that one without getting too close to you when you sat back down. Not that I was exactly repulsed by you at this point. Just really, really confused.”

“ _I was very rude to you upon our first meeting. I did not think much of it. I was unhappy to be in the company of so many boisterous strangers, and it brought out all of my worst qualities. I am sorry, very sorry, that you had to bear the brunt of that rudeness._ ”

“I’d be speechless. This was what I actually wanted an apology for all along, and I’d realize that you had been offering just that for some weeks, though indirectly. Now you could be direct. And all I can do is just stare at the floor.”

“ _The time has long passed since I’ve thought of you as a boisterous stranger, however._ ”

Lizzie’s breathing quickened. “Mmmf. That soft, serious voice would drive me insane.”

“Surely your feelings couldn’t shift from disgust to attraction that rapidly,” Darcy said, his brow furrowing.

“Nah. I think the disgust would have started draining away as early as that conversation at Bing’s party. Bit by bit, a gradual change that I hardly recognized until I was sitting there, listening to you apologize and realizing we were alone in your bedroom and wishing I _hadn’t_ realized it, because now it couldn’t be un-thought. It’d start to feel really warm in there.”

“ _I spent some weeks attempting to form a – a friendship with you. It was not until I watched your videos that I learned how clumsy and ill-conceived those attempts were. Since then I have been attempting to improve my behavior, particularly in avoiding anything that would make you uncomfortable or unhappy. I’m sorry that I have been less than successful._ ”

“ _No, you’ve – you’ve been pretty successful, I’d blurt out._ ”

“ _I have? But in your last video you said –_ ”

“ _I noticed the apologies. I just didn’t want to acknowledge what they actually meant._ ”

“I would scarcely be able to reply. _And what was that?_ ”

“ _That I was – a little narrow-minded in my opinion of you._ I’d swallow hard. _Which I was. So now it’s my turn to apologize. Sorry, Darcy. And thanks for not suing me._ Then I’d stand up, suddenly needing very much to get away from you before you started speaking in that quiet voice again. _I’ll let you get back to your – your stuff,_ and I’d wave wildly in the direction of your computer.”

“Is that all? I can promise you, after that I would not pursue you. I would tell myself to be satisfied that you no longer despised me, and never push anything beyond that.”

“That would not be all,” she said, kissing his nose. “Because a couple of days later, I’d have footage of Bing and Jane being adorable together. And in the aftermath of your discovery of the videos, I’d be a lot more skittish about issues of informed consent. I’d think of mentioning it to Caroline, but something about your reaction to the videos and what she said just wouldn’t fit together. So I’d go to you instead. It would be a gorgeous day out, so you’d be on the patio. Working, of course.”

“We need to move.”

“Huh? You don’t want this scene on the patio?”

“No, that’s fine. I mean that you need to get off of me and we need to move to the sofa.” He tried not to wince. “My legs have fallen asleep.”

“And you waited all this time to tell me? Good grief.” Lizzie hopped up and took his hand. 

He rose stiffly, with some effort, and the circulation began to return to his legs. “I was getting involved in the story, I suppose.”

“Me too. So, to the sofa. And back to the patio, hypothetically speaking. _Hi._ ”

“ _Good afternoon, Lizzie._ I would get up immediately, anxious to give you my full attention. _Can I help you with something?_ ”

“ _Yeah. Um. So, I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but my viewers have been begging me to show them Bing. Well, and you._ ”

“ _They want to see me?_ ”

“ _Uh-huh. I think from some of my descriptions they’re hoping to see someone with devil horns and a tail. So, uh, that’s something I’ll need to fix. But this is about Bing. I have this video with him and Jane, and they are so ridiculously cute it gives you cavities. I know my viewers would love it. But Bing doesn’t know. Not even Jane does. She was just filming a video letter to Charlotte. Do you think they’d be angry if I posted it without their permission?_ ”

“ _You’re asking my advice on an ethical matter?_ I would hardly be able to believe it.”

“ _Well…_ I’d be completely red-faced now. _Since you’ve had experience with, uh, having stuff about you all over the Internet without your consent. I figure that qualifies you to give your opinion about it._ ”

“ _In that case._ I’d look at you very seriously. _I don’t think it’s a good idea. Bing would deserve to know about something like that. But I’m sure you already knew that before you came to me. If you were already having doubts, it was never something you were comfortable with._ ”

“It was like you’d become a mind-reader. Kind of disconcerting. _Yeah. I guess so._ So how was I going to keep my viewers engaged if I didn’t give them what they wanted? Easy. My next video, I would instead talk about you. After asking your permission, of course.”

“Oh? And how would that go?”

“ _Sometimes I make mistakes. A lot of mistakes. And it’s not easy for me to admit when I’ve been wrong. But I can see the truth when it’s staring me in the face._ ” She took a deep breath. “ _My name is Lizzie Bennet, and I was totally wrong about William Darcy._ ”

“That might put me in danger of cardiac arrest,” he said, smiling. “What next?”

“Costume theater. I’d play myself and you both. Reenact the scene when you told me you’d seen my videos, and then our conversation afterwards. Oh, I’d leave a few things out, like how ever since then if I spent more than two seconds in your company I’d start feeling really warm and nervous and hyper-aware of every detail of your facial expressions. And how I kept reviewing your words – you no longer saw me as a ‘boisterous stranger,’ what did that mean? And you hesitated before saying ‘friendship,’ why? Did you actually want something other than that? But in my videos, I’d only acknowledge that you were a nice person, a good person, who just made lousy first impressions.”

“I admit I would try to read between the lines of your words, searching for deeper feeling or affection. But I would also be happier watching this video than all the previous ones combined.”

“And my viewers would go nuts. Oh, and Caroline would be livid. I’m not sure if she’d try to readjust her plans or give it up as a hopeless case.”

“Caroline rarely gives up. But she might alter her goals. Rather than encouraging your antagonism toward me, she might decide to convince both of us that there was no romantic interest on the other’s side.”

“Then to beat her at her own game, we’d have to be completely honest with each other.”

“I would approach you that morning after you’d posted the video and say, _Well. That was – unexpected._ ”

“ _Unexpected in a ‘oh, what a pleasant surprise!’ kind of way, or unexpected in a ‘please tell me this is all a hideous nightmare’ kind of way?_ ”

“ _The first._ ”

“ _Oh. Okay. Well._ ”

“ _Well._ ”

“ _So, our house should be inhabitable in a couple of days. I guess that’ll be good._ ”

“ _Yes._ ”

“ _Nice to have the house back to yourself, right?_ I’ll try to make it teasing, but it’ll fall flat.”

“ _I have enjoyed your company, Lizzie._ ”

“ _Okay._ Here comes that warm, nervous, hyper-aware state again. _Well, maybe –?_ ”

“ _Yes?_ ”

“ _Maybe we can get together, sometime. For…drinks. And talking._ ”

“ _I would like that._ ”

“But instead, we’d be at Netherfield another two weeks. So the drinks and talking and awkward smiles would happen there. By the time I did go home, we’d be kind of sort of not officially but definitely maybe dating.” She took his hand. “Because there has to be some scenario with a nice, slow, non-dramatic process, right? It doesn’t always have to commence with a bout of desperate kissing.”

“Not immediately,” Darcy said, cupping her chin in his hand. “I assume it would happen eventually.”

“Oh, yeah. We’d date all through August and into September. Maybe our first kiss would be on my doorstep, after a pleasant evening spent together. Then we’d have to face the fact that you needed to get back to Pemberley at some point. Maybe Bing and Jane would already be making arrangements for her to join him in Los Angeles. And then I’d get the call from Charlotte, and we’d decide to meet up at Collins and Collins. We’d miss each other for a few weeks, and then –”

“And then, when I joined you in Huntsford,” Darcy said, “I would see you and know at once how strong my feelings had become. I would find the right moment when we were alone together and tell you I was in love with you.”

“I would react very, very differently in this timeline.”

“I hope it would involve desperate kissing.”

“Naturally.”

The rest of the reenactment was decidedly non-verbal.


	5. The Interview, Part 1

The summer that Lizzie was pregnant with their first child, she decided they needed to take a road trip. William was understandably bemused by this. “Wherever you want to go, wouldn’t it be far more expeditious to go by plane?”

“It’s not supposed to be expeditious. It’s supposed to be _fun_. You’ve been jetting around from one place to another your whole life, but you’ve never had the pleasure of a nice, leisurely trip in a car. The destination doesn’t matter nearly as much as getting there. You watch the road stretching along before and behind you, you get out and have picnics and take pictures, and you just _experience_ it.”

He continued to be dubious. “Why now? Won’t it be particularly uncomfortable for you to sit for hours at a time?”

“We can take our time and stop as often as I need to. More often than on a plane flight, right? Anyway, I’m in the second trimester. That’s the easiest. I want to do this before I give birth. We have only a few more months with just the two of us. Trips with kids will be a different kind of special, with more noise and squabbling and giggling and general wonderful craziness. Things are going to change. I want to make this time special.”

This, of course, made him melt. “I’m willing to do whatever you wish, of course. But it will take some doing to convince me that any of this is preferable to flying.”

They decided to travel along the coast in a meandering southerly direction, taking in whatever sights and attractions suited their whim. They both had set aside over a week of vacation time, and they could afford to be spontaneous. Not that William had much natural ability to be spontaneous. He was getting better at it under Lizzie’s direction, but he still twitched at the thought of going anywhere without a clearly delineated itinerary. To accommodate him, Lizzie allowed for a loose schedule as long as he promised to let her change it as she pleased.

Having made the necessary compromises, they embarked on what would be one of the best vacations they ever had. 

They had no shortage of conversation topics, but when they hit a brief lull between discussions on the second day, Lizzie decided it was time to have a little fun to fill the hours until their next planned stop. “I want to really shake things up, hypothetically.”

“Did you have something particular in mind?”

“How’s this. What if Bing never came to my hometown and bought Netherfield?”

He was silent for a time as he absorbed this. “Do you mean if we never met at all?”

“No. That’s depressing. We’d both be single forever because I was too picky and judgmental and you were too scared to talk to girls.”

“I was not –” he began, affronted, but she nudged him with her elbow, jarring his grip on the steering wheel.

“Kidding. You’d probably marry some gorgeous heiress and live a prim, proper, boring life.”

“You would have found someone. I’m sure of that.”

“Well, this isn’t that story. This is the story of how we first meet while I’m shadowing Pemberley.”

William lifted an eyebrow. “Ah. Now I am certainly intrigued.”

“So maybe Bing buys a fancy house in some other small town, and you spend a few weeks there. He dates another girl, but it never really goes anywhere because she’s not perfect for him like Jane. You don’t get preoccupied with me, so you don’t have as much reason to hang around there, and Caroline isn’t worried about losing her brother or you to a pair of girls way below your station, so she doesn’t spend much time there either. Eventually you all go away to L.A. The only thing you’re worried about that summer is Gigi.”

“And you?”

“I just finish the semester and make my videos. Crap,” she realized suddenly, “what am I going to talk about on my videos? They were full of you and Bing.”

“And your sisters, and Charlotte,” he pointed out. “I’m sure you’d find something.”

“I guess. I’d probably complain about my mother and Lydia even more. Maybe there’d be some other guy at the wedding that my mom tried to match me or Jane up with, and I could go on about that for the first few weeks. It might not be quite as interesting, but hopefully it would still get me to Vidcon.”

“Why is Vidcon important in this scenario?”

“Because it would lead to my encounter with Ricky Collins, which would lead to Charlotte taking the job, which would lead to my decision to shadow media companies for my last year of grad school.”

“Bringing you, at last, to Pemberley,” William finished. “I see you’ve thought this through. 

“Yup.”

“And you’re right that I wouldn’t have come to Collins and Collins if I hadn’t know you and wanted to see you there.”

“A delightful fact that would enrage your aunt to distraction,” Lizzie said cheerfully. “Now, there are a few other differences. I don’t think I would have dated the swim coach from hell.”

“How would my absence prevent that?”

“Because I’m pretty sure he went after me to get revenge on you. Think about the timing of it. We meet in June, have one little flirty conversation, and then he’s gone, doesn’t contact me for months. Then out of the blue he starts texting me. I’m pretty sure he found out about my videos, watched them and realized you had a thing for me. He swooped into town right after my fight with Charlotte. That was no coincidence.” 

William’s hands were tightening on the steering wheel, knuckles whitening. “I had not considered that before,” he said stiffly.

“Yeah. How about we stop considering it now and move onto more pleasant things?”

“Please.”

“One more thing about it,” she said apologetically, “I don’t think he would have targeted Lydia. For two reasons. Our fight would have been less hurtful because she wouldn’t think I was siding with you and Caroline against her, so she wouldn’t be as vulnerable. And he wouldn’t have had the extra motive of hurting me, and you, when he hurt Lydia. But don’t you dare blame yourself. Don’t you _dare._ ”

“I can’t make any promises. But I will be happy to focus on other elements of this timeline instead.”

“Absolutely. So, once I get the news from Dr. Gardiner, I do my research. I’m already pretty impressed with Pemberley Digital. By the time I’ve finished my tour – not with Gigi, sadly – I’ve decided it’s pretty much the most amazing company ever.”

“And where am I?”

“Oh, in your spacious office, buried in your work as always. The last few months have been fine, nothing bad but nothing very interesting either. You don’t give more than a passing thought to the students who are touring or shadowing your company. If they’re looking to interview you, you oblige, and then you get back to your work. I’m just one more name on the list. Meanwhile, I’m pretty intimidated by you. At the end of the tour I ask, _So, your CEO. Mr. Darcy. Is he, like, a stately lord looking over his domain? If I try to get an appointment to speak with him will I need to go through three sets of administrative assistants first?_ And the tour guide would say, _Oh, no, he’s very accessible. He’s not a man of many words, but I’m sure you’ll find him willing to help you with your project._ ”

“Is this interview our very first encounter?”

“Yes, but first I meet your sister. We just happen to be in the break room at the same time, and since we’re the only ones there we strike up a conversation. I talk about grad school and my videos; she mentions tennis and graphic design. She seems fun and down-to-earth, so it kind of throws me for a loop when we exchange names and I find out she’s a Darcy. She notices my wary look and says sheepishly, _Yeah, William Darcy is my brother. Anyway, see you around!_ I watch her leave and think if you’re really not a man of many words, there was an unfair distribution of verbosity in your family.”

“Do you think Gigi would mention you to me?”

“Not until she had a reason to. After a few weeks I’d get that interview with you, scheduled for the last half hour of work. You’d tell Gigi you might be a little late to dinner, she’d ask why and you’d skim through you schedule and find my name. _Ooo, Lizzie Bennet, I know her! You should watch her videos. They’re so funny._ ”

“And after I had made her explain what in the world she was talking about, I would point out that I hardly had the leisure or the time to watch several hours worth of video blogs before that afternoon. I suppose Gigi would have me promise to watch at least one. So in the ten minute break between my last meeting and our interview, I would find your videos and begin watching. Two or three would be enough to have me looking forward to meeting you in person.”

“So you’d come into the office, with your perpetually professional, well-groomed looks, and I’d get up and shake your hand and thank you for coming, Mr. Darcy this and Mr. Darcy that, all while thinking _Good grief he’s tall; I hadn’t expected him to be that tall and striking and_ young _, and maybe I’m underdressed in this plain blouse and skirt –_ ”

“While I can’t help but notice how nervous and quiet you are in comparison to the energy and enthusiasm of your videos, so I do what I can to set you at ease. _Please, have a seat. There’s no need to be formal. Most people just call me Darcy._ ”

“ _Uh – okay._ ”

“ _Where would you like to begin?_ ”

“ _Well…anything that isn’t on the company website? Let’s start with the name. What does Pemberley mean?_ ”

“ _Pemberley is the name of the place that my father’s family comes from in England. I’m sorry; that’s probably not very useful for your project –_ ”

“ _No, I like it. It gives a sense of history to a new endeavor. Especially one with such a young CEO._ Then I’d turn red and clamp my mouth shut. Was I actually _flirting_ with the head of the company I was shadowing – me, a lowly grad student? Nothing like this had happened when I interviewed Ricky Collins.”

“It wouldn’t come across as flirting to me – at least, not in any calculated sense. I know what insincere flattery sounded like, and this was not it. _I just consider myself lucky. I discovered something early that I love to do and do well, and I built my company around that. Perhaps you know what I’m talking about, what with your videos._ ”

“I’d almost jump out of my seat. _My videos? You know about my videos?_ ”

“ _My sister recommended them when she learned you would be interviewing me._ ”

“ _Oh, Gigi. Great._ ”

“ _There’s no need for concern. I quite enjoyed what I was able to watch. You’re a natural storyteller._ ”

“And I thought I was blushing badly before. _Uh, I don’t know that this is relevant to the interview._ ”

“ _Perhaps not. I apologize if I’ve side-tracked the conversation._ ”

“ _No, no, it’s fine. But we can move on._ So I’d ask you a few more questions about Pemberley’s history, its current vision, and your personal philosophy in the running of the company. And before either of us knew it we’d be deep in a discussion of media theory and Dr. Gardiner’s latest publication.”

“Then Gigi would call me, and I would realize we had gone a full hour past our intended allotment.”

“I’d apologize like crazy, and gather up my stuff as an excuse to hide the intense embarrassment on my face. I’d held you captive and wasted your time and didn’t even realize it.”

“I would insist that your apologies weren’t necessary, that on the contrary I should be apologizing for side-tracking the discussion from your interview yet again. I would hope that you at least had enough material to complete your project.”

“ _Oh, definitely, definitely. Thank you, uh, Darcy. I really appreciate it._ ” Lizzie shifted in her seat. “Hmm. Speaking of time going by super fast, I think it’s about time for me to take a break. I’ll look up the closest place with a bathroom.”

After she emerged from the gas station restroom and William was done filling the tank, they found a parking spot for the car and took a short walk down the road to stretch their legs. “Do you think this scenario is too easy?” she wondered. “We meet, we hit it off right away, we’re already sharing our opinions on hyper-mediation. That’s usually like, at least third date material.” She gazed at him and gave an exaggerated flutter of her eyelashes.

“Oh, it’s not too easy. You’ve forgotten the extent of my arrogance and snobbery, which have until this point remained entirely unchecked by your reproofs. Consider this. After our interview, I would meet up with Gigi to offer my apologies. She would ask why I missed dinner, when losing track of the time is such a rarity for me. I would reply that I had merely gotten caught up in an enjoyable discussion.”

“ _Really?_ ” Lizzie said in best Gigi-voice. “ _With Lizzie Bennet?_ ”

“ _Yes._ ”

“ _Did you watch any of her videos?_ ”

“ _Just the first few._ ”

“ _And you talked with her for hours?_ ”

“ _Not quite two hours,_ ” he corrected. “ _What is your point?_ ”

“ _Oh, nothing._ Then Gigi would get that look on her face, the one where she’s trying to look innocent and totally failing.”

“ _I know what you’re thinking, Gigi, and you will stop that speculation at once. We were talking about the digital media business. It was neither personal nor romantic._ ”

“ _Come on, William. Would it kill you to let a little romance into your life?_ ”

“ _In the context of a business interview, yes, metaphorically. It would not be appropriate. Not to mention that Lizzie Bennet and I would be very ill matched. We are from two entirely different worlds. She introduced herself on her video blogs as possessing ‘a mountain of student loans.’ It would be virtually impossible to feel that we were on equal footing. A relationship in which one partner feels forever indebted to, or less than, the other partner cannot be healthy._ ”

“ _I think Gigi might go really quiet then. You mean like_ him.”

“Oh.” William looked at Lizzie, genuinely pained. “That’s not what I meant at all. He is nothing like you. There is no comparison. I would never attribute his bad character to his social class –”

“Would you relax?” she said, squeezing his hand. “I know that’s not what you meant. I’m just trying to get into Gigi’s head. Her thoughts would go there, even if you didn’t intend it.”

He sighed. “Perhaps you’re right. Which only proves my point that I would have a great deal to learn about being sensitive to others’ feelings.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. I think you’ve always been a pretty awesome big brother. Not perfect, but no one is. It wouldn’t be your brotherly behavior that needed the most work. Anyway, after you expressed all those reservations, I don’t think Gigi would be pushing the two of us together. She only played matchmaker when she could see how miserable you were after I rejected you.”

“I see your point. How are you feeling? Would you care to get back on the road?”

“Sure.” They turned and started back. “You know, this might actually be a situation where I fall for you first.”

“Really?”

“I’d definitely have a little crush on you after that interview. You’re in your element at Pemberley. When you’re talking about verisimilitude? Yeah, I’d swoon a little.”

They arrived at their car, and Lizzie took the driver’s side for her turn at the wheel.

“But what would you do about it?” William asked. “Surely you wouldn’t be inclined to actively pursue me.”

“No, I’d kind of figure you were way out of my league. I might mention you once or twice in my videos after we’d met, but on the tiny chance that you were watching the new ones, I’d be really careful. Like, _I was really lucky to get an interview with the CEO. He gave me a lot of really useful material for my independent study._ Then I’d quickly change the topic to something else about Pemberley and hope I didn’t have that stupid, dreamy smile on my face.” She glanced at him briefly before returning her gaze to the road. “Do you think you would keep watching my videos?”

“I might watched a few more when I had a bit of spare time. Then maybe another ten or so, and finally a weekend when I watched all the rest, as well as a re-watch of the entire eighty or more. After that, I would eagerly await the next installment.” Lizzie chanced another look at him to see if he was smiling. He was. “I would also begin formulating how to approach you.”

“To ask me on a date or profess your reluctant but indomitable love?”

“Neither. I would want to hire you.”

“Oh.”

He hastened to add, “I would certainly feel the inklings of romantic attachment, but they would be easier to ignore when I hadn’t spent very much time in your actual presence. And from a professional standpoint, I could see it as a mutually beneficial arrangement. Your skills would be a great asset to our company, and Pemberley would provide just the sort of environment you needed to begin your inevitably successful career.”

“So when would you make this offer?”

“When you were about to finish your shadowing. I believe that would have been sometime near the end of February?”

“Around then, yeah. Oh!”

“What is it? Would something else happen in February?”

“No, no. I thought I felt the baby move.” She touched her stomach briefly, the other hand remaining on the steering wheel. Normally William hated it when she was too casual about her driving, but he had no complaints now.

“Did it feel the same as that time last week?”

“Something like it. Fluttery.” She shook her head. “Maybe I’m just imagining it. All the books say that when I know, I’ll really know.”

“True.” He was trying to keep his voice steady, but she knew he was fairly leaping with glee. She could only imagine how he’d respond when the baby’s movements were strong enough for him to feel. It made her deliriously happy; she was practically drunk on it.

“So. February,” she went on cheerily. “I’d hope that by then Lydia and I wouldn’t be fighting anymore – that we hadn’t hurt each other so badly in December that we stopped speaking to each other. Maybe she’d come up one weekend to visit. I’d want to take her on a little tour of the city. But since I was only a little familiar with San Francisco myself, I’d decide to ask Gigi if she could come along and serve as guide.”

“I believe they would get along right away without any awkwardness to get over,” William said.

Lizzie nodded. Though Lydia and Gigi were good friends now, it had taken a few years. At first it seemed like every time they met, the shades of their similar heartbreak rose up like sad, dark stormclouds and drove out all the sunshine. “It’d be nice to see them having fun together,” she agreed.

“But I would remain at home, having no vested interest in such a tour.”

“Yeah, I don’t think there’s any way around that. Still, maybe it would spark something. I could have mentioned the upcoming tour in my latest video, and you would say something to Gigi indicating that you knew of it before she told you about it. She would realize you were watching my videos regularly and ask if you’d changed your mind about me.”

“ _No, I have not changed my mind,_ ” William said in a very accurate irritated-older-brother tone. “ _I have recognized Lizzie’s value as a creator of intelligent, valuable content. I’m thinking of offering her a position at Pemberley when she graduates._ ”

“ _Huh._ ”

“ _Do you have some objection to that idea?_ ”

“ _Oh, no, I’d love to have Lizzie work here! I just can’t believe you could watch her videos and see nothing but a business opportunity._ ”

“ _I do not see nothing but that._ ”

“ _Your double negatives are confusing. Do you see something else?_ ”

“ _Yes. Lizzie Bennet is clever and creative. I’m sure she’s a lovely person. It is simply not relevant to the matter at hand._ ”

“ _Huh._ ”

“ _What now?_ ”

“ _You kind of sound like that Ricky Collins guy._ ”

“ _I most certainly do not._ ”

“ _Uh, yes you do. Like everything is about ‘widening the network of your Internet-connected brethren.’ Yuck._ ”

“ _What do you want me to do, Gigi?_ ” William’s exasperation didn’t sound very feigned. She might be playing her role a little too convincingly.

“ _I’m not saying you should date her. But I think you could be friends. Is that such a bad idea?_ ”

“ _I suppose not. But it is her choice as much as mine, is it not?_ ”

“ _Sure. Whatever. Just give it a try. What’s the worst that could happen?_ ”

“Rhetorical questions such as that seldom lead to anything good,” William said dryly. “How are you feeling? Would you like another break?”

“Oh, come on. I’ve been driving for what, ten minutes?”

“Closer to a half an hour.”

“I’m fine.” She gave him a sideways look. “Are you trying to shut up imaginary Gigi?”

“Nothing of the sort. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable.”

“I am. And imaginary Gigi isn’t giving up. About a week after she takes me and Lydia on a tour of the city, she invites me over for dinner. A family dinner. Meaning you’ll be there.”

“Does she do this with or without my knowledge?”

“Knowledge, yes. Approval, not exactly. She’d invite me first, then tell you I was coming so it’d be too late to stop it.”

“I would not entirely object to it. As Gigi’s friend it would be perfectly acceptable for you to spend an evening with us. I would be wary of my sister’s intentions, however.”

“Meanwhile, I’d be in a state of supreme panic. It was easy to admire you from afar. Up close, I’d probably make an idiot of myself. Of course I couldn’t say no to Gigi. What excuse could I make? I’d feel bad just lying to get out of it. Not to mention that I wouldn’t be totally against the idea of spending time with you. Just really, really panicked.”

“Gigi would insist on preparing the meal so she could have an excuse to go into the kitchen and leave us alone together. I would suggest that it would therefore make more sense to have dinner at her condominium, but she wouldn’t care for that idea at all. The point, after all, was to get you into _my_ home.”

“That’d be another thing. Maybe she’d had me over to her condo before, but now I was going to the Darcy Home. I’d think of it in capital letters and wonder if I should come wearing a ball gown with full-length gloves and opera glasses or something. I’d have to settle for the nicest dress I’d brought with me to San Francisco, and then I’d spend an hour in front of the mirror fussing with my hair and makeup. If I looked too done-up, then you might think I was trying too hard and it would freak you out. Just dinner with friends, I’d remind myself.”

William was watching her with an expression she couldn’t quite read from the corner of her eye. “What is it?” she asked.

“That is remarkably close to my thought process whenever we were preparing to go out and meet you and your sisters, back at Netherfield.”

“Spending an hour on your hair and makeup?”

He cleared his throat pointedly. “You know what I mean.”

“I’m sorry your efforts at achieving the right look went unappreciated. Would mine go unnoticed as well?”

“I’m sure I would find you attractive, as I always did. Perhaps a little more than usual. If you were excited, the light in your eyes and the flush in your cheeks would catch my interest. As I said, seeing you in person would be significantly different from watching your videos, engaging though you were in them.”

“Oh, I’d be excited. Equal parts excited and nervous. I’d be pretty overwhelmed by the big arching ceilings and expensive artwork all over the walls. Then you’d take my coat, and our fingers would brush. I’d start rambling to hide the little jolt of electricity that went through me. _Thanks for having me. Well, Gigi invited me. Where is she? No, it’s fine if she’s busy in the kitchen. It’s nice to see you. I’ve seen you around Pemberley. Obviously. It’s your company. I mean, we haven’t really talked since the interview. Which is fine._ ”

“I wouldn’t be too surprised that you seemed nervous around me. I would attribute it to my status, which frequently made it difficult for people to be at ease around me. What would surprise me was that I found it pleasant to hear the sound of your voice even when you were speaking nonsense. This would fluster me as well, so I would direct you to the dining room without saying more than a few niceties.”

“And I would think your mostly-silence meant you were annoyed with me, so I’d clamp my mouth shut and vow not to open it again unless something intelligent was coming out of it.”

“Hopefully Gigi would rescue us then by coming out of the kitchen with the salad course.”

“ _Oh, hi Lizzie! I didn’t know you had come already. I kind of screwed up the timing on the roast and the vegetables, so I’m probably going to be popping in and out a lot to check on the food. Sorry in advance._ ”

“How unfortunate,” William said with the subtle tone of sarcasm that Lizzie both loved and hated. “And how convenient.”

“She wouldn’t totally abandon us. She’d prompt me to talk about my thesis in the hopes of triggering more communications nerd conversation. I’d feel a little easier once that got started.”

“As would I.”

“And once we were onto the main course, her excuses for leaving would be wearing kind of thin, so she’d stick around and talk about something she actually wanted to. Like Bing’s recent visit. She’d mention that he seemed a little less cheerful than usual and asked if you had any ideas why.”

“Do you think he would be in low spirits even without his failed relationship with Jane?”

“Yeah, because he’d still be questioning his career choice, Jane or not. Maybe the more casual relationship he had during the summer would still trigger some of the same misgivings. And he’d been unhappy during his visit to Pemberley because he’d want to talk to you about it, but was afraid you would disapprove of the very idea of quitting med school.”

“He may have been right. It’s difficult to think lightly of the idea of wasting thousands of dollars of tuition money, as well as years of work. It was better for me to hear about it in your video and have a chance to think it over from a distance before speaking to him right away.”

“Then Gigi would explain to me, _Bing’s an old college friend of William’s. They’re pretty much like brothers._ I’d smile and nod and try to think of something useful to contribute. _Sometimes I think it would have been nice to have a brother. Not that I don’t adore my sisters. I’m just imagining someone who would offer to beat up my boyfriend if he broke up with me. That sort of thing._ ”

“I would hide a laugh while half-wondering if you’d had many boyfriends who had broken your heart.”

“Gigi would give a wistful smile. _I wish I had a sister. I guess the closest I’ve got to that is Caroline. Bing’s sister,_ she would explain. _She’s sweet, but she’s just so glamorous and constantly put-together, it’s kind of intimidating._ ”

“ _I have never considered her intimidating._ ”

Lizzie snorted and responded for Gigi. “ _That’s because she agrees with every word you say. I think we can all guess the reason for that._ ”

“I would frown, not wanting to bring up Caroline’s repeated attempts at flirtation.”

“But I’d have already figured it out. And I’d want to change the topic just as much as you, none too eager to hear about any of your potential girlfriends. _Hey, these vegetables are fantastic. Do you have a recipe?_ A pretty pathetic deflection, since I’ve mostly been living off of cereal and mac and cheese during my time at Pemberley, but it does the trick. We spend the rest of the meal talking about food and some of your and Gigi’s favorite restaurants in the area.”

“When you were preparing to leave, I would thank you for coming while keeping the way to the kitchen strategically blocked. Gigi would be prevented from any further ploys.”

“To a point. She’d hug me and say _It was so fun to have you over! Maybe we can do it again sometime before you leave._ And I’d shrug and nod and take back my coat from you without meeting your eyes. _Thank you. That’d be nice._ ”

“ _Good night, Lizzie._ ”

“ _Good night, Darcy._ Hey, when were we planning on getting lunch? I’m starving.”

“It’s 10:45, Lizzie.”

“Oh. I have a good excuse, don’t I? Eating for two, the usual clichés? Besides, all this talk of roasts and vegetables and mac and cheese; how can I help it?”

“You’re the one who kept bringing food into the story.”

“Fine, maybe I was already hungry and it was influencing the narrative. Can we please just have an early lunch?”

“If you like. I’ll look something up.”

“Thank you. Meanwhile, I’m thinking after that dinner we might start exchanging friendly smiles, maybe a brief conversation or two, when we encountered each other in the hallways. I’d start feeling a little more confident about where I stood with you. A romantic relationship was a bit of a stretch at this point, but we might keep in touch after I left Pemberley. That was reasonable.”

“The Dragon’s Garden.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s a restaurant. About twenty miles from here. Four stars. Can you wait that long?”

“I guess so. Heaven forbid that we eat anywhere with three stars or less.”

“Or fewer,” he corrected absently. “Lizzie, everything closer would hardly even rate a single star. Do you really want to stop at a rundown diner that hasn’t passed its health inspection in three years?”

“I don’t know. I’m pretty hungry.” At this point she was just needling him, and judging from his exaggerated eye-roll, he knew it.

“Perhaps you could tide yourself over with one of those sugary processed granola bars you insisted on packing?”

“That’ll do.”

William dug through their bags and handed her a bar. Around a mouthful of granola she asked, “What would you be feeling after that dinner?”

“I would be more conflicted. I could see that we had much in common, and we enjoyed each other’s company, but I would still see a considerable gap between our social statuses. Not to mention that I was trying to focus on extending you that job offer. I would tell myself it was perfectly reasonable to become friends with you, and that was all. The day before your last day at Pemberley, I would approach you and offer my proposition.”


	6. The Interview, Part 2

“And how would you go about doing that?” Lizzie swallowed the last bit of her bar and wiped her sticky hands on her pants, earning a grimace from William.

“Not quite as clumsily as Collins, I would hope. _Good morning, Lizzie. Do you have a moment?_ ”

“ _Sure._ ” I’d put away my laptop. _Just gathering together a few last bits of data._ ”

“ _You’re leaving tomorrow._ ”

“ _Yes._ I’d smile a little sadly. _I’m really going to miss this place._ ”

“ _Actually, that is what I wished to talk with you about._ ”

“ _Oh?_ My heart would start pounding, though I’d try to tell myself it was silly to expect anything but friendly well wishes.”

“ _Yes. I – I have been very impressed with your work, Lizzie. Your videos, and the wide audience they have reached, are proof of your considerable talent. I have noticed as well your dedication to your studies and your determination to improve your education and level of expertise._ ”

“I’d be getting really warm by this point, enjoying the compliments but not sure where you were possibly going with all this.”

“ _Allow me to come to the point. I would like to hire you to work at Pemberley as soon as you have earned your degree._ ”

“ _Oh._ Wow. _Are you serious?_ ”

“ _Absolutely. I would set up an entire department around you. You would have access to state-of-the-art equipment. Not to mention that, already being familiar with the facilities and much of the staff, you would have a fairly easy transition into working here. I believe you would fit in very well. What do you say?_ ”

Lizzie’s hesitation was real, because she would guess what was coming next. “ _No._ ”

“No?”

“It would take everything in me not to accept. But it turns out that I’ve been busy with a lot of things this month. _I’m really, really gratified by the offer. It’s just that – you know how I decided to use my own made-up company for my next independent study, and I mentioned it in my video last week? Well, believe it or not, I’ve already started hearing from investors. I started drafting a business plan yesterday. It’s coming together amazingly well. I know it’s a big risk, but….I think I’m going to take the plunge. I’m starting my own business._ ”

“ _That is a_ tremendous _risk._ I would not be happy, and though I would not be able to admit it to myself, it was because I hated the thought of no longer seeing you in the hallways of Pemberley. _I admire your courage, but I fear you might be hasty to rule out other opportunities._ ”

“ _Oh?_ ” My voice would get a little colder. “ _I appreciate your concern. But I don’t recall soliciting your advice._ ”

“I would stiffen. _I believe I am qualified to speak on the running of a successful business._ ”

“ _Qualified, yes. Solicited? No._ I’d never been angry at you before, and it would be horrible and impossible to stop, like I was running downhill, faster and more out-of-control with every step. The thing is, I would have a lot of doubts and fears about starting my company. And I really couldn’t handle having them reflected back at me. _Look, I’m honored by your offer, really I am, but I have the right to say no. I have the right to go for the risky choice instead. I have the right to do whatever stupid thing I want to do._ ”

William paused, then said, “ _I did not imply that you were doing something stupid._ ”

“ _Well, thanks for that._ ” Her sarcasm was a little scary. “ _I just kind of hoped you would say, ‘Sorry you won’t be staying with us, but good luck in your endeavors.’ Would that have been so hard?_ ”

“ _If I were in the habit of reciting banal platitudes instead of speaking my mind, perhaps it would not be. But that is not my practice. I consider it a matter of pride to always be candid._ ”

“ _Oh, really?_ ”

“ _Yes. I would not do you the disservice of pretty falsehoods. I admit I am disappointed. This would be a tremendous opportunity for you. I would have expected you to be more responsible, considering your family’s situation and your financial difficulties –_ ”

“ _Excuse me?_ ” 

The silence in the car was palpable. Lizzie had to take a breath and remind herself where they really were, how far they had come since the days when arguments like these were a constant possibility, even an inevitability. William slowly reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. She leaned into it, just slightly. It was like waking from a nightmare.

“Do you want to stop?” he asked softly.

“I think taking a break at lunch time would be a good idea. But then I want to fix this. Don’t you?”

“Do you think it’s even salvageable?”

She offered him a smile. “We’ve recovered from worse things.”

“Perhaps.”

“But we do need to think about my exit. I think I’d finally gather myself enough to say, _So that’s what you’ve gotten out of watching my videos? My poor financial management? My family’s disgraceful poverty?_ ”

“ _I never –_ ”

“I’d get really polite and icy then. _Thank you for your offer. At this time I don’t believe your company would be a good fit for me. I can’t imagine how I even considered – but that’s not important. Good-bye, Mr. Darcy._ ” And then I’d pick up my stuff and leave. A day early. It would not be pretty.”

Lucky that the exit for the restaurant came up just a minute later.

They had a pleasant enough lunch, setting aside their speculation for the time being and discussing the realities of their lives. They planned to buy furniture for the baby when they returned home from their trip, a prospect that made her giddy-drunk all over again. William had researched the best cribs as thoroughly as if he were purchasing million-dollar equipment for Pemberley, and had narrowed the choices down to two brands. Lizzie was too entertained by his enthusiasm to point out that he might be putting a little bit too much thought into it. 

They ordered dessert and lingered over the last few bites, neither voicing their reluctance to get back to the car. It wasn’t as if they had an official mandate to finish the scenario once they were back on the road, but they both knew they couldn’t leave it there. 

“Well,” William said quietly, standing up and offering her his hand. She was hardly at the point that she needed help getting to her feet; still, they might as well practice. She accepted the gesture, and they left the restaurant gripping each other’s hands as if for dear life.

He took the wheel, waited for her to get buckled, and started the car. “I would regret my words immediately,” he said as soon as they were on the road again. “I had behaved selfishly, not wanting you to leave and therefore attacking the choices that would take you away from me. It would be then, at the worst possible time, that I’d realize just how powerful my feelings for you had become.”

“I’d somehow convince Charlotte to drive me home earlier than we had planned, which she can get away with because she’s on the verge of taking over the company even though she can’t tell me that quite yet. She would ask what was the matter, and I’d say nothing; there was just nothing left to do at Pemberley. She’d know I was lying. I might have mentioned you to her once or twice or a dozen times during my shadowing, so she’d have pretty strong evidence of my crush, but now I don’t say a word about you. During the next video she uses her usual tried-and-true methods to get me to talk about it. 

“ _So…you sure wanted to get out of San Francisco in a hurry._ I’d try not to scowl at her, and pretend I was totally calm and casual. _Oh, well, I really didn’t have anything left to do there. And I….really missed my family. I just couldn’t wait another day to get home._ Charlotte’s not buying it, of course. _Sudden homesickness, huh? After nearly two months of gushing about how awesome and amazing Pemberley is?_ I’d give up hiding my scowl. _Come on, Charlotte. I really don’t want to talk about it._ She would probe just a little more. _Did someone say or do something that made you want to leave?_ And I’d answer, _Yes. But that’s all I’m going to say. And that’s all behind me now. Time to move on. I am definitely moving on._ ”

“I would curse myself and my abominable pride while I watched this,” William said, his eyes grimly set on the road. “I would search for some way, any way, to make amends. Not in the hopes of regaining whatever had been between us. I could see that you were in pain, and it was because of me.”

“What would you do?”

“I would write you a letter.”

“Of course.”

“It would be brief. A contrite apology. I’d find your address in Pemberley’s records. I would feel a twinge of conscience, using that information for personal reasons, but I had done far worse in allowing my feelings to intrude upon a professional proposition. I would also refrain from including my own name in the return address, fearing that you would immediately discard anything from me.”

“I don’t know that I would. I might be tempted to. Even getting a letter from Pemberley – it would take me a while to open it. I’d finally convince myself it was just some official document about my shadowing, and then I’d pull out the letter and stare at the tidy cursive handwriting, knowing it was yours even before I saw your name at the bottom.”

“It would read, _Dear Lizzie. I am aware that you have no desire for any contact with me. I will respect that from now on. I only want to let you know that I am deeply sorry for my thoughtless words. They were hurtful and selfish, and I have regretted them from the moment you left that office. Please know that I wish you nothing but the best in your life. You are sure to find success in whatever you chose to pursue. Sincerely, William Darcy._ ”

“And I’d want to tear it up into pieces. This was a return of the considerate, good-hearted guy I used to have a crush on, and I did not want those feelings rising up again. Maybe the nice guy was all an act and I’d seen your true self after rejecting your job offer. Maybe you were only trying to get on my good side again because you were worried I’d start bad-mouthing you in my videos."

She glanced at William to see if his hands were tightening on the steering wheel again. No, he was all right. Not happy, but ready to confront this.

“I just wouldn’t know what to think anymore,” she went on. “But I’d end up keeping the letter. I’d stuff it away somewhere and try to forget everything about you. Except….I’d have to write up my report about Pemberley, and your name would crop up an awful lot.”

“I would be unable to stop thinking of you as well. Painful as our confrontation was, there is something very compelling about you when you are angry. Perhaps it is merely seeing an aspect of your passionate side. I would see your heated face glaring at me whenever I closed my eyes.”

“Sorry I haunted your nightmares.”

“You certainly didn’t intend to. And I troubled you just as much, if not more.”

“Yeah….let’s not play the blame game. The point is, I wouldn’t be getting much sleep. I expect that I’d film a late-night insomnia video, and this time around it’d be very revealing. I’d ramble on about my pent-up energy for a bit, and then I’d look straight at the camera and say, _I guess I just have some regrets. About things that didn’t turn out – the way I wanted them to. And there’s no going back, but I just wanted to say, if I could, I would have acted differently._ I’d be too tired the next day to film anything else, and I’d figure it was vague enough that it didn’t really betray anything important. So I’d post it.”

“I would watch and re-watch it with obsessive scrutiny, unsure what I wanted to see. I would go over your parting words to me as well. ‘ _I can’t imagine how I even considered_ –’ Considered what? My job offer? It seemed less than likely, since you declined the position immediately. Considered a different sort of connection with me? The questions would torment me. I might have to stop watching your videos entirely.”

“Oh, there wouldn’t be anything more about you, not even indirectly. I’d be very careful after the insomnia one. I’d focus on talking about my latest project, determined to get more investors and prove you wrong. Maybe there’d be family stuff too. How about – Jane gets the job in New York. I’m pretty sure that would still happen in this scenario. And I’m happy for her, but since I still haven’t decided where to base my own company, or whether that’s even going to work at all, I’m feeling anxious and unsettled. Jane suggests that I come and visit her after I’ve graduated. I can take a little time to think through my options while I’m there. It seems as good a plan as any.” She stretched her legs as far as the space at her feet would allow.

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“I’m fine. I think I’ve thought of a way to start mending this broken situation. And we can thank our little sisters for it. Gigi, worried about your constant moping, decides to get in touch with Lydia and see how I’m doing. _She’s totes grumpy all the time. It’s kinda driving me nuts. Why do you ask?_ Gigi would explain, _I think something happened between her and my brother._ Lydia would make some crack about gross nerdy love, but she’d be eager to help out.”

“What exactly would the two of them contrive?”

“A meet-up in New York. Lydia would ask if she could come along with me to visit Jane. And Gigi would ask you if you’d be interested in taking an excursion to New York for a little brother-sister bonding before she left for Sanditon. Since you were taking a break from my videos, you wouldn’t know I was headed there. Come to think of it, after I graduated there wouldn’t be any more videos. I needed to have a completed project to write up the thesis about it.”

“Do you think the Domino test would have still been successful without the search to get down that website?”

“Sure. A little less dramatic, but I think Gigi could have kept things interesting.”

“I’d wonder why she wanted to travel across the country right before her extended stay in Sanditon, but after the events of the last year, I’d be inclined to indulge her wishes. So once we were both there, how would they bring us together?”

“Easy. Lots of surreptitious texting and coordinating of schedules. While Jane was at work, Lydia would drag me to some iconic place like the Empire State Building, and Gigi would be dragging you there at the same time.”

“I can easily envision it,” William said wryly. “Have our sisters been watching a surplus of films in the romantic comedy genre?

“Clearly.”

“So Gigi and I would come out onto the observation deck, and I would immediately notice you and your sister through the crowd, just a few yards away. Gigi would feign surprise and run over to hug Lydia, not-so-subtly leaving us to talk to each other alone.”

“And I’d say _Darcy!_ in a squeaky voice.

“ _Lizzie._ ”

“ _What – what are you doing here?_ ”

“ _Visiting the city with my sister._ I would stare just past you, fearing to meet your eyes. _Obviously she had an ulterior motive in requesting this trip._ ”

“ _Same with Lydia._ We’d both fall silent. There was too much between us; it couldn’t be fixed with just a few words.”

“I would finally venture to say, _I’m sorry for the discomfort their plotting has caused. Gigi and I will leave as soon as she has finished gloating with your sister. We won’t trouble you again._ ”

“ _Actually_ – The words would catch in my throat. _You don’t have to leave, uh, right away._ I’d stare at the ground. _I kind of left in a hurry the last time we…talked._ ”

“I wouldn’t know how to respond to that. _As you will._ ”

“We would wander uncertainly toward the overlook and stand there, staring down at the city. Then we’d both talk at once. I’d say something generic like, _Quite a sight, isn’t it?_ ”

“While I was saying _How was your – graduation?_ ”

“ _Oh…fine. It’s a relief to be done. A little scary._ I’d risk a glance at you, knowing we were nearing the dangerous territory of our argument. _I have several investors lined up. Still deciding where I’m going to base the company._ ”

“I would struggle to keep my voice neutral. _There are many locations that would suit your purposes. I’m sure you’ll find one that works for you._ ” 

“That would be about all I could handle at the moment. _Well, I’d better, uh, grab Lydia and head to our next destination._ ”

“I’d take your meaning and feel deep disappointment in my spite of myself. _Very well._ ”

“ _But, you know, as long as we’re both in the city…I mean, if Gigi and Lydia want to get together sometime….and you and your sister can meet Jane; she’s living here now._ ”

“ _Is she?_ I wouldn’t be able to put together any more coherent words than that.”

“Somehow I’d find myself suggesting that we all meet, on purpose, for lunch in Central Park. Since you and Gigi weren’t staying in New York very long, it would end up being the very next day. We’d say our awkward goodbyes, our sisters would exchange secret gleeful looks, and then we’d separate.”

“I would have a flickering of hope for the first time in months.”

“I’d be swinging wildly between contradictions. You were being nice and thoughtful and respectful; more specifically, you were acting supportive of my plans for my own company. But that didn’t prove anything; you might just be pretending to support it to avoid getting me angry again, while you still actually thought it was a terrible idea.”

“I never thought it was a terrible idea,” William said softly. “It was purely selfish. I wanted to keep you for myself.”

“Not entirely selfish,” Lizzie assured him. “But yeah, there was some of that.”

“What would happen at lunch the next day?”

“Oh, we’d have fun. Lydia and Gigi would keep us entertained. And Jane would be so happy to see everyone and meet new people.”

“Would we restrict ourselves to safe conversation topics?”

“At first, yes. Stuff about New York and Gigi’s trip to Sanditon and Jane’s job. Eventually, though, Lydia and Gigi would have some fresh scheme. They’d ask Jane to show them some part of the park, and scamper off before we could get up to join them. I’d kind of be glad for it, because it would force me to confront the issue. I’d look straight at you and say _Darcy. Thank you for the letter. It meant a lot._ ”

“I would be startled, then say, _It was the very least I could do. My behavior was inexcusable._ ”

“ _It was – a side of you I hadn’t seen before,_ I’d say warily.”

“ _I should not have expressed a word of doubt about your planned endeavors. It was not my place. Nor was my doubt in any way justified. Every talent that would have qualified you for a place at Pemberley, will be just as applicable in starting your own business._ ”

“ _Well_ …There you were, piling on the compliments again, and I’d be all too aware of how close we were sitting to each other. _I’m definitely not taking the safe choice. It is a big risk; there’s no doubt of that._ ”

“ _I have to be honest, Lizzie. My worries were not centered on the possibility that you might fail. They arose from a far more shameful motivation._ ”

“Shameful? I wouldn’t know what to think of that. _What are you talking about?_ ”

“ _I did not want you to leave Pemberley. I did not want you to leave me._ ”

“When’s the next exit?” Lizzie asked with sudden urgency.

“Two more miles. Why? Is everything all right?”

“Yes, don’t worry. I just need to stop.”

“Of course.”

“So,” she went on, her voice shaking a little, “you would say that, and I’d look at you uncertainly. _I didn’t know – I didn’t know you cared so much._ ”

“ _Nor did I, until you left._ ”

“ _You know it’s not okay, right?_ ” She had actual tears in her eyes. “ _Caring about me doesn’t give you the right to tell me what I’m supposed to do with my life._ ”

“ _Yes, I am painfully aware of that. It does not excuse any of my behavior._ ” He pulled into the exit lane. “ _On the contrary, it has forced me to view myself and the flaws in my character from a new, harsh perspective._ ”

Lizzie gave a watery smile. “ _You might be a little hard on yourself._ ”

“ _Doubtful._ ” Once off the highway, he directed the car to the nearest parking lot, a cramped space next to a convenience store. 

“ _So you’re not allowed to take control of my life,_ ” she said, unbuckling her seatbelt and twisting around to face him. “ _We need to be clear on that. But let’s be clear on something else. You’re allowed to care about me. In fact,_ ” she leaned close, tears dripping freely down her cheeks, “ _I would welcome it._ ” 

His face transformed from bewilderment to happiness in an instant. Then they were kissing each other, frantic and hurried, knocking into the gearshift as they sought a better position amid their seats, his hands tangling in her hair – stopping only when the sound of another car’s engine startled them apart. William glanced out his window, red-faced, but the driver didn’t seem to have noticed them. He returned his attention to Lizzie, brushing the hair back from her face. “So this is why you wanted to stop.”

“Needed to,” she corrected, lifting his hand to kiss his fingertips. “This was our hardest scenario yet. I think it might also have been the best.”

“The best next to reality.”

She nodded, then laughed abruptly. “I just realized that once we were together, we could have introduced Jane and Bing to each other. I can see it now. _Oh, hi, it’s so good to meet you!_ He’d probably move to New York within the month.”

“It’s nice to think of so many happy endings.”

“And beginnings,” she said. “Happy beginnings.”


	7. Business Correspondence, Part 1

During their first night out by themselves after the baby was born, Darcy and Lizzie had several things to celebrate. To start with, their baby was finally old enough to stay home with a babysitter. That alone was cause for rejoicing. Much as they enjoyed parenthood, the opportunity to finally get away even for an evening was much appreciated. 

Then there was Lizzie’s company. After years of determined and persistent effort, her business was gaining attention. This week marked her first mention in a respected publication that monitored both established and up-and-coming digital media producers. Lizzie tried to downplay its significance, but Darcy started planning the celebrations the moment he was done reading the article.

He would never tell Lizzie, but he had his doubts when she embarked on creating on her company. He had no worries about her skills or capabilities, but running a start-up was a constant uphill climb, fraught with frustration and discouragement. Even he had been fortunate enough to build his own work upon the success of his predecessors. Lizzie would bear the entire burden herself. He hated the thought of seeing her suffer through all the inevitable growing pains and setbacks.

And it was true that the last few years had been rough for her, from a business standpoint. Darcy had played the role of comforter, sympathetic listener, and advice-giver – but only when Lizzie directly asked for it. Her accomplishments were all her own; hers and her team of coworkers. To say that he was proud of her for what she had done and continued to do was a severe understatement. Frankly, he was in awe of her.

“Careful, William,” Lizzie said slyly as they waited for their drinks at a corner table of the restaurant. “You’re going to burn a hole through me with all that smoldering.”

“I didn’t intend to smolder. It was meant to be an admiring look.”

“It amounts to the same thing. What exactly were you thinking, other than what we’re going to do if the baby’s asleep when we get home?”

Her implied meaning left him heated from head to toe, but that was not in fact what had been occupying his thoughts – though it doubtless would be now. “I was imagining if I met you for the first time right now. As one of my competitors. I have no doubt I would find you irresistible.”

“Oh, come on. Competitors? Pemberley is way out of my league. For now,” she added with a wicked grin. Her brash confidence was highly appealing.

“We are both the heads of digital media companies,” he replied smoothly. “One of them is simply more established. I see no other significant distinction.”

“But you would have, if we only just met now. Especially because without you, my videos wouldn’t have been nearly as popular.”

“No, Lizzie. You cannot credit me for any significant part of your success.”

“Indirectly I can. I talked about you so much, my viewers were dying to see you and find out if you were really as awful as I said. And then they were caught up in the romance. I’m not saying that’s the only thing that drew people in, but it definitely played an important role. A significant one.”

“Does that mean that in the scenario we imagined during our road trip, your path to success would have been just as bumpy as I feared?”

“Not exactly. You showed up toward the end, so that helped. In this new scenario – I assume this speculation is headed toward another hypothetical, right?” He smiled and nodded. “In this new one, you don’t show up at all. Maybe I stayed home and long-distance shadowed another company in Europe or something. So my videos are dependent on other dramatic or quirky elements, like my interactions with my sisters and my mother’s shameless ploys to marry off her daughters. I think I’d get a decent following. Hundreds, maybe thousands of views. Probably not millions.”

“I disagree. You underestimate the power of your own charisma and your compelling storytelling ability. With or without my presence, you would be a powerful emerging force in the spheres of digital media.”

“Flattery will get you – oh, probably somewhere good.” She flashed a dazzling smile. They paused as the server arrived with their wine selection and took their orders. “Fine,” Lizzie said when they were alone again, “I’ll accept your parameters. My company’s starting to get noticed. And we’ve never met until this point. What next?”

“We would meet at that media expo last fall.”

“The one that we both had to send delegates to because we were busy with a newborn?”

“The very one.”

“Nice.”

“But I can see one significant roadblock, other than my personality defects, that would keep us from hitting it off right away.”

“How about _my_ personality defects?”

“No.” He brushed that off immediately. “I can only assume that at this point you would be in a relationship with someone. You could not possibly remain single for so long.”

“I could if I wanted to.”

“Would you want to?”

“Well, no. If I met some nice guy, I guess not.” She reached across the table to squeeze his hand. “It’s kind of hard, at this point, to imagine being happy with anyone but you. Still, I wouldn’t know that in this scenario. I really doubt I’d be married or engaged, though. Just with a boyfriend, if that.” She straightened, eyeing him sternly. “But what about you? Gigi would probably force you into blind dates if nothing else. Eventually you’d have to find someone who you could at least tolerate.”

He frowned. “Mere tolerance is a rather low standard in choosing a partner.”

“Well, maybe you just go to charity events together. The point is, neither of us would be technically single. It’s a complication we haven’t tried before. I’m intrigued. So what are the exact circumstances of our meeting?”

“I would seek you out.”

“Why in the world would you have any interest in contacting me, professionally or otherwise?”

“We would have my aunt to thank for this. She would have been familiar with you since your visit to Collins and Collins, and once she was apprised of your own start-up, she would have scrutinized your progress.”

“Watching and waiting for me to fail, you mean?”

“Perhaps. But she would have to acknowledge your accomplishments eventually. She might recommend that my company acquire yours, absorbing your work into one of our departments.”

“Are you kidding me?” Lizzie’s hand tightened dangerously around the stem of her wineglass. “I wouldn’t even give you the time of day. Don’t tell me you’d get into the business of hostile takeovers.”

“Of course not. I wouldn’t seek an acquisition of any sort. I would approach you merely to introduce myself and express my interest in your new enterprise.”

She relaxed. “Okay. That’s better. Sorry for doubting you.”

“This is a hypothetical Darcy who never met you and was thus never improved by that acquaintance. I don’t blame you for doubting him. Friendly overtures notwithstanding, I might still come across as stiff and severe. _Lizzie Bennet?_ ”

“ _Yes?_ ”

“ _William Darcy, of Pemberley Digital._ ” They shook hands over the table, exaggerating the polite, formal gesture. “ _I believe you are acquainted with my aunt, Catherine de Bourgh?_ ”

“ _Oh. Wow. You’re related?_ ” I’d heard of you, naturally, but never knew of this familial connection. “ _Uh, yeah, I know her a little. Just – I mean, my friend works for her. Sort of._ ”

“ _I did not mean to make you feel awkward. I know that my aunt can be – difficult._ ”

“I’d smother a laugh. _I wasn’t going to say anything, but…_ ”

“ _She does have a very – demanding manner in her dealings with people. You, however, have impressed her. And after viewing some of your work, I wanted to tell you that I am impressed as well._ ”

“ _Well. Thank you. That’s quite a compliment, coming from the head of Pemberley._ ”

“ _Not at all. When I offer praise, I do not exaggerate._ ”

“I’d be flattered, but I’d think you were a little prissy and self-important.”

“And I would have expected someone who generated such high-quality web videos to be more poised and polished.”

“Like Caroline?” Lizzie said, and couldn’t seem to help making a face. “Oh, no. You wouldn’t be dating _her_ , would you?”

“Highly unlikely. Aside from a lack of romantic interest in her, I would not have risked my friendship with Bing by embarking on a relationship with his sister that had any potential of ending acrimoniously.”

“Right. Sorry for the panic.” Her smile was sheepish now. “I think I’m a little more possessive of you than I realized.”

He smiled back ruefully. “I have the feeling that in this scenario, I will be the one experiencing the pangs of jealousy.”

“Really? Even with an unpoised, unpolished Lizzie Bennet?”

“Absolutely. You would find me insufferable to start with. I’ve yet to learn the crucial lesson that one can be professional and competent while still leaving room for fun and spontaneity. You would teach me that very quickly, to my chagrin.”

“How?”

“To start with, you might lead a presentation on how to be an effective vlogger. I hadn’t intended to attend, but after meeting you I am curious whether you’d be able to command the attention and respect of a room full of listeners. You can. What I didn’t expect at all is that you are also very, very funny.”

“Do I actually get you to crack a smile?”

“Several times.”

“Still not quite enough to get you to dump your girlfriend and ask me out that same evening, I’m guessing.”

“No. Especially because you mentioned your boyfriend in passing during your presentation.”

“Ah.” The server reappeared then, bringing their entrees, and it seemed as good a time as any to take a break from the scenario, call the babysitter to make sure all was well, and gaze happily at each other between bites of food. “I have a confession,” Lizzie said after this had presumably gone on long enough to disgust anyone nearby. 

“What is that?”

“I miss our baby.”

Darcy took her hand with a fond look. “So do I. Do you want to go home directly after dinner?”

“No, no. We need time for just us as a couple. I feel like it’s been nothing but work and baby, work and baby, for months now. And I love my job and I adore our baby, but….this is nice. This is important.”

“I love you. And I’m very glad you didn’t have a boyfriend when we met.”

“Nope. Just a mountain of prejudices.”

“Would a boyfriend be easier or more difficult to overcome?”

“Depends on the boyfriend. I’m kind of feeling sorry for this guy.”

“I would by no means attempt to attack or sabotage your relationship. After our initial meeting I would be focused on the professional advantages of being acquainted with you. I might invite you to Pemberley to give your vlogging presentation to more of my employees.”

“Interesting. I think I’d accept – as long as you paid my traveling expenses,” she added with a grin. “My business would probably be based in Los Angeles. There’s another roadblock.”

“If Collins could create an entire branch of his company to be near his fiancé, I’m sure I could make similar sacrifices.”

“Oh, yes. Can’t have Ricky Collins outperforming you in romantic gestures. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. I assume my presentation is well-received?”

“Undoubtedly. My sister attends, though vlogging isn’t strictly her area of specialty, and she takes an immediate liking to you. Afterwards, she might offer to give you a tour of Pemberley.”

“Sure. I’d have a lot of office space envy, comparing your vast kingdom to my little two-story premises in L.A. Still, I’d be kind of proud of what I’d managed with the space I had. And Gigi and I would hit off, as always. It’s nice to have something consistent in every timeline.”

“Then what?”

“Then I’d go back to my company. I might daydream now and then about having a rooftop swimming pool, but that’s about it.”

“And I would inform my aunt that I felt your company’s assets would be most valuable if they remained separate from Pemberley Digital’s. Hopefully that would satisfy her for the time being. I would have no reason to contact you again until your name appeared in that publication.”

“Why? And would that still happen?”

“Yes. Perhaps not at the exact same time, but no doubt eventually. In any case, as soon as I noted your name I would call you to offer my congratulations. Perhaps I would feel some degree of pride in recognizing your company’s value before anyone else did, conveniently forgetting that it was my aunt who brought it to my attention in the first place.”

“Well, whatever your prideful thoughts, I’d be pretty gratified to get a personal congratulations. I’d say something inane like, _I’ll try not to let the fame get to my head!_ ”

“ _You seem perfectly capable of remaining grounded. Good luck in your future endeavors, Lizzie Bennet._ ”

“ _Thank you._ And then I’d have a question pop into my head, some conundrum with one of my investors or something, and I’d figure it couldn’t hurt to ask your advice since you didn’t seem interested in sabotaging all your competitors. I think that might be a sort of foundation for future correspondence. Exchanging advice, talking shop, getting nerdy about media theory.”

“It seems plausible. This correspondence would occur largely over the phone?”

“Yeah. It’d be all professional and everything, friendly but not delving into personal stuff. Except that one day we’d be talking about the role of costume theater in my old vlogs – you’d’ve watched them by then – and I’d lose track of the time and miss a meet-up with my boyfriend. Then I’d have to face the fact that you were filling some sort of need that he wasn’t – something I didn’t even know I needed. He’s a great guy, fun-loving and thoughtful, but whenever I start talking about anything to do with mass communications, his eyes just glaze over and I can tell he’s dying to change the subject. I have trouble meeting his gaze when I have to explain why I’m late that afternoon.”

“This realization sounds far too easy. A few phone conversations with me and you’re already doubting your relationship with your boyfriend?”

“No, it wouldn’t come all at once. Just bit by bit, over time. First of all, I can’t dump him and go running to you. That’s ridiculous. You’ve mentioned Victoria once or twice –”

“Victoria?”

“Oh, your sort-of-girlfriend; her name would have to be Victoria,” Lizzie said as if it were patently obvious. “Anyway, you’re not single, and if even if you were, who knows whether you’d be interested in me as anything but a colleague? And pretty much all we’ve talked about is the digital media business – who knows whether I’d be interested in _you_ as anything but a sounding board for that. Secondly, I do like my boyfriend. My first thought, after realizing our phone conversations were endangering my relationship with him, would be to cut off contact with you and focus on making things right.”

He looked at her warmly. “And that is one more reason I love you.”

“Because I’d choose my boyfriend over you?”

“You would be loyal. Faithful. More concerned with the relationship that really mattered. It’s easy for me to say it here and now, when ours is one of those important relationships. But I hope I would still find it admirable even when it didn’t benefit me.”

“Okay, so how would _you_ feel after these friendly-but-professional phone calls?”

“I would enjoy them, always in a better mood afterwards. If you stopped calling me, I would miss them and wonder if I had done something to offend you. I would not press the matter, but the absence would begin to wear upon me.”

“I would miss them too. It would bother me, and I’d begin to think I was a terrible girlfriend. Eventually I would call Jane, looking for reassurance that I wasn’t. She’d listen for a while, and then she’d say, _I don’t know, Lizzie. Maybe you aren’t the greatest girlfriend._ I’d choke on my tea. _What?_ It’s pretty much the last thing I’d expect her to say. _If it really bothers you that he isn’t interested in media theory, why haven’t you ever said anything to him about it? Maybe it’s just been simmering inside of you all this time until you found an outlet with this Darcy guy._ I’d be glowering, thinking that if I wanted someone to ask me the hard questions I would have called Charlotte. _So, what? You think I should break up with him?_ Jane would quickly say, _Oh, don’t jump to that right away, Lizzie. Talk to him. Tell him this is a really important part of your life. I’m sure he’ll want to make an effort to understand it better._ ”

“Does he?”

“Sort of. When I bring it up he says _I’ve always said what you do with your company is amazing. Have you ever doubted that I believe that?_ And I’d frown and say _No….but I know it’s not that interesting to you._ And he’d ask if I cared one bit about his job, and I’d admit that no, it sounded kind of boring to me, but that didn’t seem like a big deal because he didn’t really talk about work when we were together. Then he would wonder why I couldn’t do the same, and I would point out that when someone starts their own company like me, you have to know that they’re really passionate about it, and maybe he should have realized that back when we first met…yeah, I can see it escalating from there.” She paused to sip her drink.

“Perhaps we should look at my side for a while and give you a break,” Darcy suggested, a smile twitching the corners of his eyes. “There’s no need for you to spend the entire evening arguing with yourself.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. “Don’t underestimate the stamina of my vocal chords. But fine, if you want a turn for a while, go ahead.”


	8. Business Correspondence, Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one for now...I'm working on a new scenario and should hopefully finish it soon. As always, thanks for reading!

Darcy cleared his throat and began. “You would have been gradually occupying more and more of my thoughts in spite of my refusal to acknowledge it. At social events with – ahem – Victoria, I would find myself imagining you in her place, slipping your arm through mine and fitting so comfortably by my side. Most of all, since most of our acquaintance was by phone, I would be preoccupied with the sound of your voice. Someone would have made a recording of your vlogging presentation, and I would rewatch it far more often than necessary. Perhaps I would have a message from you on my voicemail that I had no practical reason to keep, yet I would put off deleting it for months, replaying it whenever I reviewed my messages.”

Lizzie laughed, knowing he had done the same with her actual first message in his voicemail, even when he had the luxury of hearing her voice in person whenever he wished.

“I would dismiss all of these obvious signs as idle fantasizing. I was drawn to you, I would tell myself, merely because you were outside all of my spheres – a different city, a different life – and you represented some restless desire to have something other than what I had. I was relatively happy as I was; there was no reason to be dissatisfied with my life.”

“But why be relatively happy when you can be insanely, blissfully happy?” Lizzie said, leaning back in contentment. “I’m stuffed. Don’t think I’ll have any room for dessert.”

“Very well. I’ll be finished in a moment, and we’ll be on our way.”

Since they still had about an hour before sunset and there had been no emergency calls from the babysitter, they decided to take a stroll through the city before going home. Lizzie seemed to think her voice had recovered enough pick up her thread of the storyline. “I wouldn’t break up with my boyfriend over one argument. Otherwise,” she gave Darcy a sly sideways look, “I would have dumped you after the first month. No, I’d try to patch things up. He would too. He’d make an effort to show more enthusiasm for media stuff, and I’d try to be patient when it was hard for him. I wouldn’t contact you during any of this; it would just confuse matters. It’s important that I don’t break up with my boyfriend because of you.”

Darcy nodded. “I agree.” He couldn’t help noticing, however, that amid all of this discussion of Lizzie’s hypothetical boyfriend, the poor fellow had yet to receive a name.

“Meeting you would trigger it, but it would have to be about me and about him. And as the months pass, things would get worse instead of better. More arguments, less ability to find compromises that work. So we would end it. And I’d be horribly depressed for a couple weeks. Everything would remind me of the good times we’d had together instead of the very valid reasons we had broken up. I might take a long weekend and visit Lydia to get my mind off of it. She’d be living in San Jose, renting a house with four or five other energetic, bubbly girls, and they’d be happy to provide plenty of distractions. 

“But Lydia has been talking to Jane,” Lizzie went on, “and the first thing she suggests is that I should call you, because what I really need is some hot mancake action. _Uh, what makes you think he’s a hot mancake?_ I’d ask, then get really red-faced, having not really considered your physical attractiveness seriously until this point, and then I’d be mad at myself and at Lydia. _That’s not relevant anyway. Calling him would be a very bad idea._ Lydia would demand why I thought that. _Because….he’d be some kind of rebound thing. Also, I think he has a girlfriend. Also, I’m sure he doesn’t see me that way._ ”

“She would get you to call me eventually, wouldn’t she?”

“Yeah. _It’s just one phone call, she’d say. And if you don’t do it I’m kicking you out. We’re not supposed to have any extra guests anyway. Fire hazard or something._ Great, Lydia, now you tell me. So I call you on Monday morning. Let’s say it’s been nearly four months since our last call, without any explanation why I stopped and now, suddenly, I’m leaving a message on your voicemail.”

“Voicemail,” he repeated with a quiet laugh. “Of course you’d reach my voicemail.”

“It happens over half the time I call you in real life, doesn’t it? You’re a rich powerful CEO; you don’t have time to sit staring at your phone, waiting for calls.”

“That is what I did when you were at the end of your pregnancy, ready to go into labor any day.”

“That’s kind of a special exception.”

“Agreed.”

“My message would be hopelessly awkward. _Hey! It’s me, uh, Lizzie Bennet. Just wanted to say hi. So….hi. Hope you’re….having a good day._ Then I’d have to hang up before I lose my nerve and just delete it.”

“As soon as I saw your name among my messages, it would undo in an instant all those months of telling myself you were nothing but a pleasant distraction. I would be filled with eager anticipation to hear the sound of your voice. I’d be disappointed the message was so short, but I would listen to it several times and smile. Then I’d listen one more time and frown, wondering what was troubling you. It would be after seven in the evening, and I would hesitate to call you back, knowing I could not in any way justify this as a business call. Did you even want me to call back?”

“That’s usually implied when someone leaves you a voicemail,” Lizzie said dryly. “That, or show up on their doorstep in place of Chinese food.”

“I can’t imagine what you’re talking about,” Darcy said, leaning over and kissing the top of her head.

“But you would call me back that evening.”

“Yes. I wouldn’t be able to get anything else done, or get to sleep, as long as your call went unreturned.”

“I’d be sitting on the porch of Lydia’s house, staring moodily into the distance, clutching my phone in my hands. When it rang I’d fumble to answer it without even checking who was calling. _Hello?_ ”

“ _Hello, Lizzie._ ”

“ _Oh! Oh, hi Darcy._ Would I be calling you Mr. Darcy or just Darcy at this point?”

“Darcy, I’m sure. _How are you doing?_ ”

“ _Uh, fine. I’m fine. How are you?_ ”

“ _I am well._ ”

“ _Good. That’s good._ Then we’d both be silent for a bit, and somehow I’d find either the courage or the insanity to say, _Actually I’m not fine. That’s, um, that’s why I haven’t called you in a while. Personal stuff. I kind of had to focus on it for a few months._ ”

Darcy squeezed her hand. Her sadness was all too convincing. “ _I’m sorry to hear that._ I would refrain from asking any prying questions, curious though I was. _Is there – anything I can do?_ ”

“ _I guess you’re already doing it. I just needed to hear a friendly voice._ ”

“It would mean the world to me that you considered mine a friendly voice. _I’m glad I can be of service._ Then I would attempt what I hoped was a safe question. _I hope your work is going well?_ ”

“ _Yes, it’s fine. I took a long weekend – I’m at my sister’s place right now – but I’ll be heading back to L.A. tomorrow._ ”

“ _Where does your sister live?_ I would immediately regret the question, fearing that your personal issues had to do with your sister.”

“I hope I would answer cheerfully enough to set your worries to rest. _San Jose. It’s been a nice trip, but it’s probably a good thing I’m leaving soon. Apparently I’m an illegal tenant._ ”

Darcy chuckled. “ _Really? I wouldn’t have taken you to be a lawbreaker._ Foolish though it was, the thought of you so much closer to me in San Francisco would fill me with delight.”

“I’ll say. I might have gotten a little glimpse of your playful side before, but this was new. And I’d like it. _Shows what you know. Let me show you my collection of speeding tickets sometime. It’s positively scandalous._ ”

“ _How do you know I won’t alert the press?_ ”

“ _Oh, you wouldn’t dare risk retaliation. I’m sure I could dig up something on you. Wasn’t there some occasion when you used the wrong fork at a seven-course dinner? You don’t want that leaking to the public, do you?_ ”

“ _Heaven forefend._ ”

“I can easily see us talking for an hour or more. It would be very enjoyable, and completely unprofessional. Then I’d say, _Well, I need to get to bed early. Lots of driving to do tomorrow._ ”

“I would be startled that you drove instead of flew, since purchasing plane tickets had never been an issue for me. It would be a jarring reminder of the disparities between us, and I would feel guilty for indulging in this flirtatious conversation. I am, you recall, unaware that you no longer have a boyfriend.”

“Right. Well, I’d be feeling pretty cheerful myself. We’d say our goodbyes, and I’d go off to bed in a much better mood than I was before the phone call.”

“I would not be able to sleep much at all. It is plain my feelings for you were more than those of a colleague. It is also plain that those feelings would not be at all appropriate. I had missed your phone calls for months, but now I must be the one to cut off our correspondence.”

Lizzie frowned. “That stinks. Why didn’t I just tell you I wasn’t in a relationship anymore?”

“Would you like to go back and alter the scenario?”

“No, no. I wouldn’t have mentioned it. I wouldn’t want you to think I’d dumped him so I could throw myself at you.”

“I would never think that. I would be unhappy, though, at the notion that I had destroyed your relationship.”

“So the breakup won’t come up just yet. But it has to eventually.”

“Meanwhile, the next time you called, I would force myself to say, _Lizzie, I’m afraid I can’t continue this._ ”

“ _What do you mean?_ ”

“ _I have enjoyed this correspondence very much. But I fear it has altered from professional exchanges to – something else. And as long as either one of us is involved in a relationship, that cannot be appropriate._ ”

“Oh, I get it. You’re talking about my boyfriend, but I think you’re also talking about Victoria. Are you still with her?”

“If our couple-hood was as vaguely defined as you delineated it, I doubt I would have ever considered her my girlfriend.”

“So I’m hurt, but I know you’re right. I stopped calling you when it was jeopardizing my relationship; I have to let you do the same. Or so I think. _Um, yeah. You’ve got a point._ I could mention the breakup now, but it would seem pretty desperate. _You know, you’re a really good guy, Darcy. I appreciate that._ ”

“ _Not at all. It should not have taken this long for me to acknowledge the problem._ ”

“ _Well. Uh. It’s been nice. Really nice. Good-bye, Darcy._ ”

“ _Good-bye, Lizzie Bennet._ ”

“And that’s where things stay for a few months. Both of us sure we’d made the right, ethical choice, and both of us miserable.”

“How can we contrive a way to change the situation?”

“Well, let’s say I’m looking to improve my graphic design department, and while looking for design seminars I see your name. Except it’s not you, it’s Gigi. She’s going to be on a panel for a seminar in L.A. the very next week. I hesitate, but I know she’s talented, and she’s coming from the gold standard of digital media companies, so it’d be pretty dumb to pass up this opportunity just because of you. So I go there with my department. Gigi’s very happy to see me, and after the seminar we have a lot of catching up to do. After some harmless chatting I finally get the courage to ask _How’s…your brother?_ She looks at me strangely. _I thought you were in touch with him. Don’t you call each other all the time about business stuff?_ I’d try to keep my face neutral while I answered. _Oh, we did, for a bit. But it’s been a while._ ”

“I’m sure Gigi would suspect something else was going on.”

“Yeah. She wouldn’t be too subtle, either. _You didn’t have some kind of fight, did you? Because William has actually been kind of gloomy lately._ That would startle me. He has? And I’d bite my tongue, telling myself it was pretty narcissistic to assume you were gloomy just because of me. _Well, that’s too bad_ I’d say with false calm. _I’m sure it has nothing to do with me. Is…everything all right with his girlfriend?_ Not a lot of subtlety on my part either. Gigi would frown, perplexed. _William doesn’t have a girlfriend. Did he tell you he did?_ I’d stare at her, not sure which way was up. _He – he mentioned someone. Victoria?_ And then she’d laugh. _Oh, she’s just a family friend he takes to social stuff. I mean, I’ve tried to get him to pursue something more romantic, but it’s never happened. And he hasn’t gone out with her in ages, anyway._ ”

“What would you do with this new information?”

“Nothing drastic. Just because you were technically single didn’t mean you would have any romantic intentions toward me. And I was still trying to sort out my own feelings. Maybe I’d just plant one tiny seed and let it slip to Gigi that I was single too. I’d know she would pass along the news to you.”

“Indeed she would. She would probably also inform me that you had inquired about the status of my own alleged relationship. And after dancing around the issue for – I supposed it’s been nearly a year by now? – for so long, I am done waiting. I call you immediately.”

“ _Oh. Hi, Darcy._ I’d be nervous and it would make me sound subdued and wary.”

“ _Hello, Lizzie. How are you?_ ”

“ _I’m…good._ ”

“ _I understand you saw my sister while she was in Los Angeles._ ”

“ _Yes. It was nice to see her._ ”

Darcy took a breath and said very quickly, “ _I would like to date you._ ”

Lizzie let out a choking laugh. “ _Well, that’s being direct._ ”

“How would you answer?”

“ _Wow._ ”

“ _I apologize. My impatience has made me rude._ ”

“ _No, no, it’s fine. Um, yes. I would like to date you as well._ " She giggled. " _This feels like a business transaction._ ”

“ _I’m sorry. I’ve expended so much energy trying to keep things professional between us; I’m afraid it might be difficult as I try to change –_ ”

“ _I’m not worried about that. I’ve seen other sides of you beyond the professional. What I do wonder is, we live hundreds of miles apart. That’s kind of an issue. And don’t tell me you’re going to fly me to San Francisco every time you want to see me. That’s not going to work._ ”

“ _I understand that. I don’t have an immediate solution. But I believe we can find some way to make it work. I would like to make it work._ ”

Lizzie leaned her head on his shoulder as they approached their car’s parking space. “ _So do I._ ”

“Then what?”

“Oh, we’d do the long distance thing for a bit. But it’d be clear pretty soon that we wanted to live closer to each other. Fortunately, I’ve been looking to get a larger space for my company anyway. So I choose a place closer to San Francisco. Maybe not the city itself. I can’t ask my employees to relocate that far just because their boss is dating the CEO of Pemberley. I’d find something like a halfway point. Nearer to San Francisco than L.A., though. By this point I’ve found I like that city better anyway.”

“I’d prefer that I do some compromising as well,” Darcy said, frowning slightly.

“Sure. You’d have a longer commute. You’d also have to deal with a lot of gossip that would crop up about your supposedly mercenary motives for dating me. But as far as relocating, let’s face it, Pemberley is a lot more established. Your company wouldn’t have the option of picking up and moving cities.”

“We have branches in several cities.”

“But you live in San Francisco. Or near there, once we’ve gotten serious enough and decide to get married. That’s the important part.”

“So it is.”

They arrived at the car, and she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. “Well, esteemed colleague,” she went on briskly, “Shall we depart for our home and engage in professional correspondence?”

“I’m not sure whether to be amused or disturbed by your euphemism.”

“Oh, admit it,” she said, opening her door. “You’re totally turned on.”

He scooped her up in his arms, making her shriek in surprise, and deposited her into the car with a low murmur in her ear. “That goes without saying.”


	9. The Accident, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the new one! I've gone back to the month at Netherfield....I guess that era just seems rife with possibilities. Hope you enjoy it.

Lizzie hesitated at the door to the hospital room, torn between the need to rush inside and the fear of what she would see. She reminded herself of what the nurse had said. It wasn't very serious, just a broken collar bone. On the other hand, it was bad enough that he needed surgery. And she'd only had about twenty minutes to process all of this, from the time of the nurse's phone call followed by a frantic rush to the hospital. She really hadn't made any sense of it yet.

She took a breath and forced herself in.

William was sitting – well, propped against the bed in its half-reclined position – with a sleepy but untroubled expression on his face. That face, Lizzie noted with a hard swallow, was crossed with scratches and cuts, not to mention a purpling bruise around the right eye. All superficial wounds, but still. His right arm was in a sling, and he was hooked up to several machines. She hovered by the door, hating her cowardice, until William looked up and smiled.

"Lizzie. I'm so glad you came."

"William," she sighed, and suddenly she was hurrying to his side, taking his free hand. "What _happened_? Someone hit you on your bike? I just can't believe it; you're such a careful cyclist –"

"Lizzie," he said again, his smile widening. "This bed is _marvelously_ comfortable. You ought to try it. Shall I get up?"

"What? No," she said, making sure he wasn't actually trying to get to his feet. He seemed content to lay his head back on the pillows, his face growing positively goofy. "William, I think you're delirious."

"Mmm. Yes, delicious," he mumbled, his eyes drifting shut. Then they popped back open. "We have children!"

"Uh, yes, we do." What kind of pain meds were they giving him? "They're with Charlotte right now. Remember, she's in town? Thank goodness. She's happy to help out."

"Why not bring them here?" he said, with an expression that could only be described as _pouting_. This was getting surreal. "They would benefit from the expedient. The experience."

"Probably not a good idea," Lizzie managed to reply, just as the nurse was coming in.

"All righty," she said in a cheery voice, "who's ready for surgery?"

"Sorry," William said, "but I don't have the license. The medical one."

"You're not the surgeon, William," Lizzie said. "You're the patient."

"I wouldn't try reasoning with him, dear," the nurse said with a low voice and a wink. "He's pretty heavily sedated right now."

"I noticed."

"So we'll be taking him into the O.R. in just a few minutes." She handed Lizzie a pamphlet entitled _Clavicle Fractures and Repair_. "It's a fairly routine procedure, and Dr. Harrison is one of the best surgeons in the Bay Area. If you have any questions, feel free to ask."

Lizzie could only nod and squeeze William's hand, then wait and watch as they wheeled him away.

The afternoon passed with agonizing slowness. She made a few calls, checked on Charlotte and the kids, paged through some magazines without reading a thing – then looked at her phone to discover less than a half an hour had passed. Her thoughts drifted aimlessly from one place to another, sometimes panicked and fearful, other times just bored. Then, unexpectedly, they settled somewhere that opened a whole new field of possibilities.

Time passed much faster after that.

She was there in the recovery room when William's eyes flickered open. He gave her a groggy smile.

"You're exceptionally lovely today, Lizzie. Have I told you that?"

"Thank you. And you're exceptionally eloquent for being severely doped up." She leaned down and kissed his forehead. Once he was a little more responsive, he was wheeled back to his room. He drifted in and out of sleep over the next hour while Lizzie made a few more phone calls and mentally elaborated on the scenario she was developing. By the time William was fully coherent, she was itching to tell him everything. First, however, they had to address reality.

"I'm sorry for causing you all this worry," William said, glancing at his sling with a grimace.

"The only person who needs to apologize is the driver who hit you," Lizzie said. "And he already did, profusely. I think he was expecting a lawsuit, especially once he found out you were a CEO. I assume that's not necessary."

"Not at all. I'm sure I share at least a part of the blame."

"Never mind that." She smoothed his hair from his scratched-up forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. But otherwise, remarkably well."

"That's good." She added shrewdly, "I'll have to ask again once the medication starts wearing off."

"And Charlotte will be able to watch the children tomorrow as well?"

"Yup. She said it'll be very useful practice. I'd forgotten she's already four months along, did you realize that?"

He glanced at her sideways. "You don't seem as distressed as I'd feared you would be."

"Trust me, I was freaking out plenty when I first got the news. But the surgery went smoothly and you're on the way to recovery. Besides…." She couldn't contain herself anymore. "I just thought of a new hypothetical."

A smile slowly spread across his face. "Really? I'd love to hear it."

"Imagine if you'd had an accident like this while Jane and I were staying at Netherfield."

His smile shifted into bewilderment. "You're excited about scenarios in which I break my collar bone?"

"Let me explain. It happens on a day when Caroline's in L.A. on business and Bing and Jane are out somewhere, being schmoopy, with their phones shut off so they won't be interrupted. So when the nurse can't get in touch with Bing – he's listed as your local emergency contact – she calls the landline at Netherfield. I didn't even know the landline was hooked up, but when I'm there, alone, and it starts ringing, I have to decide whether to answer it. I figure it's either a telemarketer or an emergency. When I see the local hospital on the caller ID, I have to answer it."

William leaned back into his pillows thoughtfully. "And then?"

"The voice on the other end asks if Bing is there, and when I say he's not, she asks if I know you. _Uh. Yeah._ While I start thinking, what if you'd been killed? It's one thing to indulge in a few schadenfreude-ish fantasies about your death. It's quite another to confront to the actual reality of it."

"Lizzie," William said, not quite meeting her eyes, "did you truly have fantasies like that?"

"Sorry. Not – too many. More often, I just imagined you in some situation of public humiliation." She felt her cheeks burn red. "And then I was helpful enough to provide just such a situation for you in front of millions on the Internet." She leaned close, kissed him, and rested her head on his shoulder. Good thing she had enough foresight to sit at the left side of his bed. "Sorry, a hundred million times."

Somehow, around his I.V. and the tangle of blankets, he managed to bring his hand around her and began stroking her hair. "Are you sure you want to explore this hypothetical?"

"Absolutely. Things are going to change very quickly. First of all, once I've learned you're not dead, just in need of clavicle repair, the nurse asks if anyone could come to see him. _It's best if he sees a familiar face when he's waking up from surgery._ And I start to get frantic. If she couldn't reach Bing on his phone, that must mean he's turned it off. Caroline is gone, Jane – maybe I'll start calling her on my phone even while I'm still talking to the nurse. _Well, I'm sure I can get a hold of – just a second – no – no, she's not answering. Um. Okay, I guess I can come in._ And as soon as I say it, I want to bite my tongue. I figure I'm the last person you'd want to see in a drug-addled haze, and I sure don't want to be there myself. How am I supposed to feel when the guy I despise is in the hospital? Jubilant? That doesn't seem nearly the right word for this twisted-up feeling in my gut.

"I'm not a monster, after all, is what I tell myself. If he needs a familiar face and there's absolutely no one else in the entire world, I can dutifully step in and act the part. Only to the barest minimum. And only until Bing finally gets the five messages I leave both him and Jane on the way to the hospital."

"I can only imagine my surprise when you show up in my hospital room."

"Well…" Lizzie turned to look at him slyly. "If you want to envision this accurately, you're going to have to take into account the fact that you're incredibly loopy."

"Loopy?" He pulled back from her, examining her face with growing suspicion. "Lizzie, what did I say when you first got here? My memory of that time is – somewhat clouded."

"Oh, it was quite entertaining," she said with an evil grin.

"Please tell me I didn't humiliate myself."

"No. You were just _adorable._ "

"That's not very reassuring."

"So I'll come into the room," she went on, pretending to ignore his expression of growing panic, "and discover something alarming. It doesn't matter how much I hate you, there is nothing nice about seeing your face all covered with scratches and marks. Seeing you vulnerable, barely conscious, helpless – it just makes my gut twist up even more, like all my ill-wishing somehow brought this upon you."

He squeezed her hand.

"Then you open your eyes and rasp out my name. I come to your bed reluctantly. _Yeah. It's me. I, uh, left a message with Bing. Hopefully he'll get here soon._ "

"If I'm truly as 'loopy' as you claim I would be," William said, "I might say something unguarded. _Lizzie, I am honored to enjoy the privilege of your company._ "

"I'd just stare at you. _Huh?_ "

" _Please make yourself comfortable. May I get you anything?_ Does that sound about right?"

"Pretty close. Except your speech would be all slurred, accompanied by a silly smile."

William's eyebrows went up, but he managed to restrain whatever protest was on his lips.

"And I'd be tempted to back away slowly and get out of there. Sedated Darcy is _weird_. Like, actually nice and friendly, in a stiff and formal-ish kind of way. But since you're Bing's friend and I'm not a monster and all that, I force myself to reply. _Thanks, but I'm good. Uh…how about you?_ "

" _I am quite well, thank you. These are excellent accomandants. Commendations._ "

Lizzie giggled. "Exactly." She looked at him fondly, almost longingly. "Have I mentioned yet how very, very glad I am that you only broke a collar bone?"

He kissed the top of her head, then let out a slight but unmistakable groan. Lizzie drew back. "You okay?"

"Well enough. Forgive me, but the pain is slightly more than I expected."

"Should I call the nurse?"

"No, no. I just need to avoid any extraneous – contortions."

"Which means I can't keeps squishing right up next to you," she surmised with a sigh. "All right, all right." She pulled away to sit up straight in the chair again. "So there we are, loopy sedated Darcy and freaking-out Lizzie. I shoot Jane another desperate text or two while we wait, but still nothing. You just keep grinning goofily at me, and then, finally, they wheel you off the surgery. I've lost track of how many messages I've left for Bing and Jane. At this point I'm calling Charlotte too, just to send out an S.O.S. Nobody's answering. When someone does finally call, it's not on my phone – it's yours. They have a bag of your stuff in your room, and when I hear your phone ringing I go for it, hoping it's Bing. Instead, it's your sister. I recognize the name and decide at the last minute that I'd better let her know what's going on."

"She would be extremely worried," William said, wincing as he shifted position. "After losing our parents…"

"Oh, no," Lizzie said, horrified. "I feel bad even doing this to her hypothetically."

"It's all right. Once you've explained to her that it's a minor injury –"

"She'd still want to fly straight out to be with you," Lizzie said. "And I'd be startled that you were able to inspire such sisterly devotion. Well, by the time you're getting out of surgery, Bing and Jane finally come rushing in, full of apologies and worries. But things have already been set it motion for a whole lot of change. Your sister is coming, I'm having a lot of squirmy-gut feelings, and then, when you wake up in your room, barely coming out of the haze of anesthesia, the first thing you ask is 'Where is Lizzie?' As it happens I'm sneaking out the door at that very moment, and hearing you say my name like that is enough to make me practically run for the hospital exit. Sedated Darcy is just too, too weird."

"I wouldn't remember much of this once I was fully awake, but I would be vaguely aware that you were at my side before the surgery, and the thought would fill me with a peculiar warmth."

"Back at Netherfield, I'd be cringing with guilt, and then get mad that I was feeling guilty. I didn't owe you anything; I'd already gone way above and beyond by going to the hospital in the first place, and it was really weird that you were asking for me afterwards. Yet I'd still feel bad for running out. Jane would come home a little after, saying Bing's going to stick around at the hospital until Gigi can get there. _That was really nice of you to be there for Darcy._ And I'd shrug. _There wasn't anyone else. I'm just glad Bing finally turned on his phone._

" _Oh, we're so sorry about that! Bing heard this idea about going without electronics for a day, and it seemed like such a nice thing to try. I just can't believe the accident happened today, of all days!_ And I'd just shrug again. _No harm done._ But Jane would wonder. _Was it all right, really? I know you don't get along that well with Darcy._ And I'd find myself laughing. _Actually, he's a lot more tolerable when he's heavily medicated._ "

"The next morning, Gigi would show up at Netherfield. In all her worrying and scrambling to buy a plane ticket, she forgot to ask where the hospital was. So Jane goes to answer the doorbell, and there's your sister. _Oh hi, it's so good to meet you! You must be Gigi Darcy._ And I'd be hovering in the background, part of me desperately curious to put a face to the nervous voice on the phone, part of me figuring she'll turn out to be just as awful as her brother. Then she sees me and says, _Are you Lizzie? Thank you, thank you for helping William yesterday! I'm so glad someone was there for him._ I just sort of mumble, _Sure, no problem._ And Gigi would put down her bag and say, _So, um, could you tell me the address for the hospital? I'll just take the cab and –_ To which Jane would insist that she would give Gigi a ride on her way to work, even though the hospital is completely in the other direction, and I realize I have to be a decent human being and offer to drive your sister instead."

"You've planned this scenario very elaborately," William said, his lips twitching in a barely perceptible smile.

She grinned. "I had a lot of time this afternoon. So your sister and I have a twenty-minute ride to talk. She asks some questions about your surgery and how you're recovering, and I answer as best I can without giving away how I actually feel about her brother. More and more I'm feeling confused at how sweet and talkative she is – though she has moments of quiet gloominess because you-know-what is still pretty recent – and then, she speaks so highly of you. _William this_ and _William that_ , all the times you've rushed to her rescue and how important it is that she can finally do the same for him, how you never think of yourself and you were probably apologizing to the driver after he hit you."

"That seems a tremendous exaggeration," William said, holding back a yawn.

"Maybe so, but I'm thinking there must be some particle of truth in it. Which is really, really confusing. But I have no more time to think about it, because we're at the hospital and Gigi is dragging me inside before I have a chance to make some excuse to leave and come to pick her up later. Back at your hospital room –" Lizzie glanced at him, figuring she'd been dominating the narrative long enough and it was about time for William to offer some input for his hypothetical counterpart. But his eyes were fluttering shut. Right. The nurse said that might happen.

She leaned forward to kiss him, then gathered up her things. She'd be back as soon as visiting hours started tomorrow. And maybe then she'd let him do a little more of the talking.


	10. The Accident, Part 2

The next morning, Lizzie arrived to find the nurse checking William's vitals and the incisions from the surgery. "He's looking good, Mrs. Darcy," she said. The title always threw Lizzie for a loop. Unless she was talking to her children's teachers, the name never came up. In business circles she was Ms. Bennet; at home she was Mommy or Lizzie.

"That's great," she said, shaking it off. "Any chance he can come home today?"

"We should be able to discharge him in a few hours. Though you'll need to take it easy for a few days," the nurse directed at William. He nodded meekly. Those pain meds were really doing a number on him.

"You really don't need to spend every minute with me, Lizzie," he said after the nurse had left. "I'm sure you have work to do."

"Yup. Taken care of," she said, indicating her laptop bag as she sat down and pulled the strap from her shoulder.

"I see." He hesitated, then said, "I don't suppose you also brought –"

"Your computer? No way. You need to take it easy, remember? Getting hit by a car is a very reasonable excuse to have a week or two off of work."

"If I must," he sighed.

"Anyway, I don't have to get started on my stuff right away." She leaned forward eagerly. "I want to talk about what happens when Gigi yanks me into your hospital room. She'd rush to your bed and say something like _William! I was so, so worried. Thank_ goodness _you're okay._ " And I'd shuffle around near the doorway, willing myself to be invisible. But you'd be looking for me, and once Bing and Gigi step aside to talk about billing forms and all that fun stuff – well, what would you say to me?"

"Ah, yes." William smiled. "I've given that a little thought since yesterday. If I felt roughly the same then as I'm feeling now – sore, somewhat woozy, and tired – I suspect I would have great difficulty keeping my feelings in check when you appeared."

"So you'd make a declaration of love then and there?" Lizzie said teasingly.

He raised his eyebrows.

"Uh, I was only joking. Really?"

"Not quite that effusive. But I would certainly be less reticent than I was under normal circumstances at Netherfield. _Lizzie, I didn't have the chance to thank you for coming here yesterday. It means a great deal to me._ "

"Hard for me to imagine any mockery in those words, however much I'm looking for it. _Uh, sure. No big deal. Someone had to do it._ "

" _I'm glad that someone was you._ "

"That's bold. I'd wonder if the medication was making you downright delusional."

"Not delusional, but certainly bold. Having a brush with near-death tends to make you reassess your priorities. My misgivings about your – suitability – would seem less and less important alongside the way I felt in your company."

That look in his eyes was just too much. Lizzie broke character entirely and closed the remaining distance between them so she could kiss him all over his face. Gently, of course. He was still pretty tender.

"Thank you for that," William said, taking her hand with a wry smile. "But in this scenario…?"

"Yeah. Not quite that. This is so surreal, I can only fall back on sarcasm. _Why, because the shock of seeing me helped you wake up from the anesthesia?_ "

" _Something like that._ I'd think you were being playful, which would encourage me. _I might consider a different term than 'shock.'_ "

"Gigi would come back then and, not being blind, she realizes something is going on between us. She'd keep quiet for now, but the wheels would start turning."

"I dread to think what she could manage while I was virtually incapacitated."

"Pretty scary, huh?"

At that moment Gigi herself came rushing into the hospital room, joining Lizzie at William's beside. "William! I was so, so worried. Thank _goodness_ you're okay."

He and Lizzie exchanged glances, and after a valiant effort, she gave up and burst out laughing. Even William allowed himself a chuckle. In response to Gigi's bewilderment Lizzie could only wave a hand and explain after catching her breath, "Inside joke. Sorry. Did you hop on a plane as soon as I called you yesterday?"

"Of course I did. How's he doing?"

"Better. He should be discharged today."

"I didn't injure my vocal chords," William said a bit peevishly.

"Sorry," Lizzie and Gigi said at once.

They chatted for a bit, with Gigi laughing uproariously at the idea of her brother under sedation. When her giggles had finally subsided, she asked, "So, what can I do? I'm taking a couple days off work. I want to help."

"Go spend some quality aunt time with our kids," Lizzie suggested. "They'd love to see you, and I know Charlotte would appreciate having another adult to help out."

Gigi's face lit up. "I'd love to. Maybe we'll put together a little 'Welcome home, Daddy' party. Keep me posted, okay? Let me know when you're ready to go home."

"We will," William said, then turned back to Lizzie in mild accusation once Gigi had hurried off again. "Were you trying to get rid of her?"

"No! I'm always glad to see Gigi. But, well, now that she's gone off to answer the call of aunthood…shall we continue?"

"Very well."

"So imaginary Gigi has a few things to discuss with you once you get discharged and you're settling back into your room at Netherfield. _I like Lizzie. She seems nice._ "

" _Oh?_ "

" _Yeah. Have you….been spending a lot of time with her?_ "

" _We are presently living under the same roof. You can draw the requisite conclusions from that._ "

" _I don't want to draw the requisite conclusions! I just want you to_ tell _me_."

" _Tell you what?_ "

Lizzie's noise of exasperation was only partly fake. " _You're impossible! Do you like her or what?_ "

" _I don't see how that's relevant._ "

" _I saw how you were looking at her in the hospital._ "

" _That was merely the lingering effects of sedation._ "

" _You're really not going to bend on this, are you?_ "

William sighed. " _Gigi, I'm tired. Might I remind you that I'm recovering from surgery on top of a significant accident? I'm feeling quite raw right now. If I am to make any sense of the current state of my feelings, I'll need some rest._ "

"Well, you've got Gigi there. She has to apologize, plump up your pillows and help you into bed, biting back any more probing questions. And she can't stick around Netherfield much longer. She was taking a summer term class, wasn't she?"

"Yes….I believe that's why she wasn't able to drop by Netherfield and visit in reality. As well as...other reasons for not feeling social."

"So she has to leave before she can really get anything more from you about your feelings for me. But meddling is kind of in her blood. Before she goes, she pulls me aside and thanks me again. More awkward shrugs from me. But then, _Lizzie, can I tell you a secret?_ I'd blink stupidly. _Umm…sure?_ She lowers her voice even more. _William's been unhappy this summer. It's my fault. I can't explain._ There are tears in her eyes, and it kind of scares me. _Anyway, he could really use some cheering up, especially now that he has this injury to get over. Could you make sure he doesn't spend all this time glued to his computer? Make sure he has some fun. That's what I'd do if I could stay._ I'm completely at a loss. Even if I had a vested interest in your happiness, which I'm sure couldn't happen in any alternate universe, there's no way that I'd be able to bring it about. Except maybe by removing myself from your presence. Because, you know, you can't stand me."

William just smiled. "But you would have to answer her."

" _Yeah. I'll, uh, pass the message on to Bing. He's the expert in cheering people up, right?_ But Gigi would glance over at him, deep in conversation with Jane, and point out, _I think he's kind of preoccupied lately._ And I can't deny this. Bing being distracted is the whole reason I ended up going to the hospital instead. _Well….I'll see what I can do._

"After she leaves, I can hardly think of anything else but her enigmatic words. Unhappy – because of Gigi? That doesn't make any sense at all. She's the happy one; you're dour and unpleasant because that's just who you are. Or is it? I didn't know you before this summer. I can't be sure. Still, the thought of me trying to cheer you up is just too ridiculous. There's no way I'm going to barge into your room and drag you out for mandatory fun and games. I did sort of kind of promise Gigi though. Just to ease some of my guilt, at breakfast the next morning I force out some question about how you're feeling."

" _Somewhat better, thank you._ I would wish to say more, but my tongue would be hindered by my conflicting feelings."

" _Okay. Just, uh, don't spend all day working. You've got a pretty good excuse for taking a few days off._ "

Her phone buzzed just then, and she took it up to find a message from her assistant. "Crap, sorry," she muttered, retrieving her bag. "I can't ignore this."

"Of course," William said, his lips curving up with aggravating smugness. "Then we can get back to your hypocritic- I'm sorry, _hypothetical_ lecture about taking time off work."

She stuck her tongue out at him as she opened her laptop.

During the hour or so that she was stuck on her computer, William dozed with a peaceful smile on his face. It made for a surprisingly soothing work environment, cold white walls and beeping hospital equipment notwithstanding. When she finally gotten through enough to take a break, she cleared her throat and said, "So – would you take my advice or not?"

He started, his eyes coming open. "What was that?"

"My advice to relax a little."

William considered. "I suspect I wouldn't have much choice in the matter. Gigi would have informed Fitz, and he would have arranged some sort of mandatory leave for me, for my recovery. Once I realized this was the case, I would have no idea what to do with myself. My injuries would require that I mostly remain sitting. Perhaps I would select a film to watch."

"And maybe I'd figure that watching a movie with you was good enough to clear me of my promise with Gigi. I'd sit at the opposite end of that big long sofa in the media room. Would you choose some pretentious art-house film?"

"If you were joining me, I would ask what you preferred."

"Ooo, that's risky. I'd pick out the cheesiest chick flick I could possibly think of."

"I would grimace inwardly, but you are the guest, after all."

"And perhaps you'd have an ulterior motive for wanting to please me?" Lizzie suggested.

"Perhaps…though I had a rather poor idea of how to please you. For one thing, I wouldn't be aware that your movie choice wasn't what you actually preferred to watch."

"But it backfires on me. Because you're sitting there impassively while I'm squirming and trying not to gag. Finally I can't hold it in, and I say something snarky about the main character. I sneak a glance at you. You're kind of smiling."

"I might venture to make a similar remark a short time later, to gauge your response."

"I'd be startled, but it would make me laugh. And before I know it, we're tearing the movie to pieces together."

"How do you feel afterwards?"

"Weird. But I try not to overthink it. Sure, I had a good time with you, or at least alongside you. That didn't mean I had to suddenly start liking you. Your sense of humor is just a little better developed than I previously thought."

"What if I suggested we watch a similar film the next day?"

"The weirdness would intensify. It would imply not only that you enjoyed having _fun_ , which I had previously ruled out as impossible, but you wanted to have fun with _me._ "

"What would you say?" William asked.

"I'd say yes. Your behavior is becoming a mystery I have to solve. Which means that I find myself spending a lot more time with you while you're recovering over the next week."

"And after a week…?"

"I'd realize I didn't hate you anymore. Which would make me mad, because I hate being wrong. How about you?"

"I would be well on my way to falling in love with you," he said frankly. "Which was already the case, in reality, while you were at Netherfield, but the process has been accelerated by the accident. My emotions are far more vulnerable."

"Would you try to….flirt?"

"Perhaps. Though you know my methods aren't very conventional."

"All the better. If you started using seven-syllable words about media theory, I'd be pretty helpless to resist."

William shook his head, smiling. "You're far more willful than that."

"Stupidly stubborn, you mean?"

"I would never put it that way –"

She smirked. "Not out loud, maybe. Anyway, we're on our fifth or sixth movie – this time I've actually agreed to one of those arthouse flicks – when Caroline comes back from L.A."

"She would find things very different from how she left them."

"Well, she would have heard about your accident, and she'd be genuinely worried about you."

"She would be horrified, however, at how my recovery process involved spending lots of time with you."

"Yeah…." Lizzie stretched, feeling her joints pop. Her body was starting to protest against the hard hospital chair, but she couldn't stop now, now when they were so close. "I think, seeing the obvious connection growing between us, she might do something desperate."

"Such as?"

"Tell you about my videos."

"Ah."

"What would you do?"

"After watching the first ten or so, I would go to you and tell the truth. _Lizzie, I've learned about your video blog._ "

" _Oh no. Oh no. How did you – no, it doesn't matter. Okay. So, I guess you hate me now._ "

" _Not precisely. I was hurt. Surprised that you felt that way, and felt it so strongly._ "

" _Um. Sorry. I didn't really know you, and it was stupid –_ "

" _I wanted to ask –_ " William cleared his throat, sounding genuinely nervous. " _I wanted to ask if your feelings had changed._ "

" _Really?_ " And she was genuinely relieved. " _Have you watched any of the recent ones?_ "

" _No. Should I?_ "

" _If you want. I hope – I hope you can consider it my way of apologizing._ So two videos ago, the day after the accident, I gave a quick, flustered account of what happened. And I don't badmouth you, because it seems in bad taste while you're lying in a hospital bed. The video after that, the latest one, I talk about our unexpected movie nights. And how Darcy is actually an okay kind of guy." She shrugged. "I still have a little way to go, but by the time you're going in for your post-op checkup, I'm the one who offers to give you a ride. Voluntarily. Not because I'm the only one available."

"Gigi would probably call, wanting to know how it went, and I would tell her I was healing just fine. Then, just because I know how happy it would make her, I'll tell her that I'm thinking of asking you on a date."

"I'd say yes."

They exchanged smiles.

"Well," Lizzie sighed, "that just leaves one question."

"What is that?"

"How long before your recovery allows for a return to normal activity?"

"Hypothetically or non-hypothetically?"

"Both."

"Either way, it's going to be a long couple of weeks."

"Mmm." Lizzie leaned close, and they shared a slow, languid kiss. "Worth the wait," she whispered afterwards. "It always is."


End file.
